A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My guy friend and I got into a heated argument at the start of last year, where we were not speaking to each other. The generally argument was about his and my behaviour, where I thought he never really cared about me as a person. And he thought (and still thinks to this day) that I had befriended his friends to turn against him to make him the bad guy. This never happened, and I tried telling him multiple times it was not the case.I spoke to his friends about generic stuff, nothing personal in case they got the wrong idea. Two of them ended up showing an interest in me, which I declined them because I had feelings for my guy friend instead. I told him about my feelings which he said he was not sure about how he felt, and there were some circumstances that got in the way of us even being in a relationship. Which I accepted, and saw it as his way of saying no. I was speaking about one of his guy friends and said he seems nice and I like him, he had good character etc. After I said that he blew up and got very angry. I did not know he interpreted it as a like, as in romance, but I said it in a friend way.Then this debate caused the argument and we fell out. I tried telling him how I really felt and put my heart out there saying that I genuinely loved him for who he is, but he blocked me and ignored me after he left a message saying he liked me back but it was too late. After the argument, his friends were comforting both me and him, because, in their words our friendship was perfect, and they didn't want us to part ways over something silly and emotional. My guy friend gets very emotional and he said a lot of things that crushed me. Another friend ended up being interested in me after the fight, I gave him a chance and I did not like him after that. We went both ways.Fast forward to now, we are on speaking terms again, we have some what reconciled with the past and both want to move forward. He is still salty about what happened, however, I have again tried to tell him they were all on his side, I was also scolded, they wanted our relationship back together but continues to say he does not trust me. He seems happier to be talking to me again and we are hanging out regularly, but he does not trust me around his friends, and now he refers to his friends as "his team" and "my team", now calls my "team" ... "simps" because again, of the past. I know these are his issues, but I do not know what to do. Because it is a constant thing he mentions every time we hang out, and I address it and he says "its only a joke" but I know its not. He still wants to be friends with me, he even suggested "close" friends again after he hurt me, which I am not even totally aware he realises how much he hurt me. I had stated I just wanted to be friends and see how it goes. He agreed. He has shown improvement in his behaviour where I had told him in the argument to not be rude and mean towards me. Likewise I have also.I am not sure how to approach this friendship because I still have somewhat, small feelings for him still but I am super wary of him and taking things really slow, where he wants to pick up where we left off. And I do not understand his issue with his friends and me talking.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2024): It sounds like he has trust issues from the past so maybe you could talk to him about that. Could be he needs counselling. Personally I think you're right to take things slowly and see whether you'd be good together long term.
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