A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm new here. I found out a few weeks ago that my husband is having a texting affair with someone he knew wben he was a teenager. So far I am confident they haven't made it physical. The way I found out was when he accidentally forwarded a conversation to my phone. When I read what was being said he told her he is single told her he has a dead child (not true the boy he sais is dead is his godson who is very much alive)also said several other lies. This is disturbing in so many ways. I did very calmly and cautiously confront him of course he said he isn't talking to anyone. Mind ou he all but stopped texting me through out the day we don't have sex he guards his phone like a prison even takes it to the bathroom with him where he now spends at least an hour at a time. I'm angry frustrated and hurt. Not to mention there is something this girl needs to know about my husband that I know he won't tell which could potentially put her health in danger. Why I care about that I confuses me further but I do. What I want to know is should I contact her and if so how should I go about it. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I once discovered someone cheating on me and rang the woman in question. It got him into hot water with both of us, and everything out in the open. It depends whether you want that, and whether you would make it worse or not.
This is between you and your husband. Why not confront him with the lies he has told her, and ask him what is going on and why he is staying an hour at a time in the bathroom with his phone.
A
male
reader, confusionhaze +, writes (4 November 2010):
Wow, this is pretty twisted. For him to lie about the death of a child is just so off the wall. There is no doubt if he guards his phone the way he does and hides away in the bathroom that texting is continuing. Being a man who has not been honest with his wife, I know the behavior.
The question is, is he a just flirting for the fun or the thrill or has he fallen for somebody else and fallen out of love with you? The first one you might be able to work on but the second would probably end your marriage. Be prepared for either.
I would say treat him like a child, expect he'll only tell you the truth under the safest conditions. No threat of leaving or hurting him back. Make a comfortable and honest conversation for him and he will probably spill his guts. Maybe even confess to something you have lied about first to break the ice. Men are cowards and hate to see a girl cry, so don't give an indication that you would do that.
I hope that helps.
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMe again I forgot to mention that this girl lives several hours from us that is why I'm sure they have only spoken. That and my gut is telling me it hasn't gone further. I don't know why I want to speak to her so bad. I am so hurt. I still can't believe he stooped so low as to lie about the death of a child. That's sick. Ok I think I'm staryting to ramble sorry bout that. I look forward to hearing what all of you have to say. Thanks again for listening.
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