A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,My husband and I have known each other for 3 years and been married for a little over a year. We just welcomed our new baby into our family a few months ago. We have always had a great relationship and we only went through a small fighting phase back when we first met.So the other day he left for work in the morning and I went to check me email to check the status of a delivery I was waiting for. And when the sight came up his name was still logged in. I know..I know..I should have just signed out..but I couldn't help it..I SNOOPED.He has had this email for ages but didn't have a lot of messages in his inbox or outbox..maybe like 20 or so. And a few popped out at me..one with the subject that said "I think you might like these." I clicked on it...it was from some girl...from like some other state he has never even been to. She attatched picutures of here and her friends in bikinis with no message. I went back to the inbox..and there were two other girls that sent him pics..one of them said "maybe this link will work for you..sorry about that"..as if he sent her a message saying it didn't work. Well then I noticed that the first messsage I read had an arrow..he replied to it. I go to the sent messages...I open the message..and there it is..4 pictures of his erected penis..yes..it was HIS. I started shaking..my blood pressure skyrocketed..if I didn't calm down I would have ended up in the hospital. I cried..all alone. I don't know what is going on or how long it has been happening because his messages before last week were all deleted permanetly. And then I thought about it..how the next day the camera wasn't where I had left it. He did this...5 days ago...and then I thought more...I THINK I remember seeing that girls SN on his messanger buddy list a while back. I am so disgusted. I can't it..I can't sleep..as soon as I fall asleep I wake up..and can't get back to sleep..thinking about it..while he lies next to me in bed. I can't confront him. I don't know what to do..trying to hide what I know. We haven't had any relationship issues..and we started to rekindle our sex life since the baby came. I can't talk to friends or family..that would be really embarassing..if they knew what he had done.I can't leave him..I don't know what to do. He has noticed I have been acting different..but I just say I'm tired..and try to be myself.Is this considered some sort of emotional..or cyber affair..again not many words were exchanged between these few woman. And I did a little research..and I know he has never met them. Maybe this is why he gets me the things I want most of the time? I don't want lectures..or anyone saying leave him like you are tough or something. I just really wanted to get this out there..because I have no way else of doing so.Thanks for reading..feel a bit better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): i am not going to say leave him because i know you don't want to, you just had a baby so many changes in your life right now.not confrontng him is not doing you any good. you need to have the courage to confront and "expose" his behaviour. your baby is small right now, so better get all the screaming and acid words over with him while she has no idea of the tormoil her parents marriage is going through. but as she grows and you have not addressed his sexual cyber cheating (?) you will damage your kid by then exploding. then it will be too late. so please for your own sanity, your own well-being confront the man. you are still nursing your baby and you need your wits around you. or else you will become an emotional basket case and then you will not be in a good good place. you have the evidence and please do not back down until you get some real answers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): Why do you say, I can't leave him? Why not, I don't wish to leave him. This has really, really upset you. It could be possible that he behaves below your standards. Any other behaviours? Or is it that he just commits adultery for no reason. But intends to stay by your side. But the issue here is that this is affecting you. He has not told you because he doesn't want to hurt you. How will he be when he discovers you are? Could he change? At some stage things will come out. There will be an argument, you will leave and chances are, he'll be right back and changed.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): If it makes you feel better I understand you more than Id like to....it feels good to know I am not alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): hello, i also found pictures my ex had been sending to another girl of his penis so i do know how hurtful it is. all these thoughts going through your head.
im not even going to say leave him, as that would be hard when you still love him and also have a young baby to him.
what i will say is that unless you do confront him on it, it will wear you down.
so you looked at his emails... wrong? yes, but what he has done is alot worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): That's okay, dear, go ahead and vent, that's what we are here for. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but if I was there, I would give you a hug.
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