A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my husband is into child porn , he has these storage things not sure what they are called. you can save pictures and videos on them. went through them when he was at work found images and videos of child porn . what should i do i have 5 children
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): You found child porn on your husband's computer. You have children. You know what to do. Get the hell away from that man. WHY are you ASKING these questions?? If you haven't called the police already, stop reading a website for advice on something which should be a basic instinct (protection of your children from predators). Call the police and have him put in jail where be belongs. As for the postings excusing this man's behaviour - you are sick and I can't believe what I am reading. I have another good idea - ask some of your children's friends' parents what they think you should do. Ask them if they think it's ok if their children are allowed to stay over at your house. Clear your thinking about this matter and you will know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2008): i know what you are going through,i was on my boyfriend pc and had find alot of porno web sites on his history page,i asked him how this got here he said he doesnt know and doesnt look at this stuff,its was young girls and boys and children,its sick ,its not normal for any person to look at this.do the right think ring the police it shouldnt matter how much you love him,do the right thing for you and your children.i have children and i know what you are going through,i did the right thing and rang the police and got out of there for my sake and my children,be as strong as you can and all the best
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female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (1 February 2008):
I am a domestic violence worker and I would say that if there is child porn at your home and at his work then I would have to say that your children are in danger and you need to contact your local child protection investigation unit. If he has porn on his computer he will have a stash of videos or dvds hidden somewhere close by. Is there a secret panel or not often used space in the house or near the computer where he could store more stuff. The other thing to note is who are his friends. This may give you a little insight into his other world.Does he have a post office box where he can get his porn sent? Does his work involve travel? Start thinking back and definitely keep a diary and ask yourself is he capable of deception. Is he a smooth operator. Is he charming. Does he have the gift of the gab. Do your children seem obedient and under his control?
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female
reader, Timeslikethese  +, writes (1 February 2008):
Do you not think, Mandy, that you're coming from a slightly biased and emotive viewpoint? It's not a rational foundation for constructive advice.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): I think this poor lady is the one that needs support here and I cant belive you sometimes peoriaman, You go of on one about yourself and your beliefs, When the real issue here is this lady who has written and asked for help.
The facts are as most people have stated, its against the law and for a bloody good reason... PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!
To stop helpless children being abused, my son was abused so as a mother I no how that feels and I feel so sorry for this question asker I just hope she has found some help by coming here, Personally peorimaman Ive tryed so hard to understand and be kind to you but I just find myself back at square one, confussed as to why you seem to have the need to be heard over everyone if your job is trying to upset and hurt people well done you have achieved your goal, Waterloo has it right and I for one would not like her to leave as I think her heart is kind and good and that would be a shame we are supposed to stick together not rip eachother to pieces....I hope the questions asker is ok and hunny I stand by my previous posts message me if you need any help WITH LOVE MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): FACT: Creating Child Porn is illegal.
FACT: Possesion of Child pron is illegal.
FACT: An Individual caught committing a crime is subject to penalty under the laws of their government.
FACT: Any indivdual with knowledge of a crime is obligated by law to report it to the proper authorities.
I have my facts Peoriaman, do you?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I am another poster who seems to have enraged Peoriaman. I wrote
".. some are kidnapped children and some are kids that are still being abused even as we're sitting here"
As it seems there may be confusion by what I meant by that, I will explain. I meant that the children in the photos were abused. There is a possibility that they are still being abused by whoever took the photos.
Does viewing a photo count as direct abuse, as another poster suggest? She makes a good case that this is on-going psychological abuse and it is certainly horrible in the extreme. But my point really was that the photos are evidence of physical sexual abuse. Which could be happening to those children right now, and which could possibly be stopped if the police were allowed to do their job.
Sorry for yet another post, but I wanted to be clear about what I had said and what I had not said. (I think I am going to have to register so that I can have a username, lol!)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): I am the one who posted the comments that seem to have disturbed Peoriaman and I just wanted to respond to him.You are assuming that no child has been hurt, or as you said they can not be hurt over and over again just because someone has looked at a picture a thousand miles away. So you are assumming that each pornagraphic photo of a child has no strings attached? Are you assuming that no child was harmed in the making of that material, or that they are not affected every day by the memory of what happened to them or or do you just assume that the abuser has already been caught and that is good enough? Either way, why in "GODS NAME" would you not find it imperative to stop the circulation of these photos, videos etc? Ignoring something only allows it to continue. By calling the police we are not trying to make her husband a "victim" as you say, but rather to help the real victim THE CHILD, to stop being abused, whether that be directly or indirectly. Because whether you admit it or not, everytime that childs photo is viewed, that child as well as their family is being victimized OVER AND OVER AGAIN! How dare you try to justify that?And by the way, yes, even though you were falsely accused, I think it would have been better if someone reported you and the police could have investigated immediatley, cleared you and found a real lead and maybe then it wouldn't have taken a whole year for someone to have been caught. But of course you wouldn't see it that way, the real victims that had to suffer over those twelve months don't really matter to you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Peoriaman asks:
I was known in the neighborhood as a peeping tom. Should the police have been informed and me arrested?
Well, yes! If a person suspected you of a crime, they did the right thing to report it. If the police did a poor job of investigation, or if your neighbours acted as vigilantes to *punish* you for a crime/perceived crime, that was wrong.
But if a person has legitimate reason to suspect someone of a serious crime - such as finding child porn on their computer!!!!!!! - then of COURSE the police should be informed.
In civilized communities, we report crimes against children.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): What happens when someone is falsely accused of a crime is not the subject of this thread.
The relevant issues: her husband has committed a crime (possession of child porn).
The pictures in question show children being abused.
Child abuse is a crime, and in many (if not most) places, the law requires that a person who has knowledge of child abuse report it.
It is the job to police and authorities to investigate crime.
It is not the job of women to protect sex abusers OR criminals.
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female
reader, joby30 +, writes (27 January 2008):
 I agree with mandy7.
Get this dirty little man off are streets and away from r children.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Hi, well i am shocked, not just at your letter but at some of the responses to it.Peoriaman what are you playing at, i dont like your answers at all!!!!!!! He should be reported to the police and arrested full stop. What if you kids have been touched, how would you live with yourself then? These kids go through hell to get these photos and videos. I heard from a cop friend that they are actually video for the internet while they are being abused and raped, some are only babies. How dare Peoriaman have this kind of view. Disgusting.
Go to the police now and have this stopped before it is too late. Too much of this is being allowed to happen and therefore our lovely innocent children and being put through hell all because of these perverts. STOP IT NOW!!! SNUFF IT OUT AND HIM AS WELL.
Please stop being afraid and grab the bull by the horns, phone the cops and stop worrying about yourself, you will be ok. It is jumped on from a great height in the UK and any more rubbish from Peoriaman then i am leaving this site!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
take care
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Peoriaman is wrong. The police can, in fact, often use photos and computer files to track down child abusers.
And yes, this is exactly what the police are for! 999 or 911 is for eminent emergencies, but there will be a non-emergency number listed in your telephone book, or call the operator.
Peoriaman says "make sure no kids have been harmed." There is no other way to say this - those pictures are absolute, definitive proof that yes, children have been harmed. Not directly by your husband, but by the person who took the photos. They are evidence. By NOT turning it over, you are actually helping conceal a crime. I don't say that to make this harder on you, but to impress upon you that there is more at stake here than your husband's welfare.
i am not sure why peoriaman is so concerned about protecting child porn traffickers, but his advice should not be heeded.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
I missed your post about your husband threatening you, I didnt mean to sound so urgent as this is so hard for you after reading your other post its obvious he knows what he is doing and how terribly wrong it is, and he must no the police are tracking this kind of thing in the u.k now so he is willing to hurt you to keep his secret, VICTIMS SUPPORT! They will help and it all in the strictest confidence. They will meet you anywere and help you so much, You are obviously scared and its understandable why.. Irish has given good advise, as soon as you can you need to get help for you and the children, phone these people on the support group Ive given you they are amazing and your main concern is the safety of your children and you, The sooner you have support the safer you will feel TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): HEY PERORIAMAN
Do you actually no what irish is saying the same hunny as all the rest of us this ladys children are her priororty, what has jesus got to do with this my my!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): i can't believe someone has advised you to help your husband destroy what is actually evidence of a crime being committed. please do not do this! even if YOUR husband never goes beyond looking at images, they are evidence - those are real children in those pictures. if nothing else, the police need to have these images. the children depicted in child porn are being victimized. some are kidnapped children and some are kids that are still being abused even as we're sitting here - do you realize that the police and investigators may be able to use the material you found to save a child's LIFE?
not to mention perhaps saving your own children or a child that will be a victim in the future.
frankly, worrying about what wil happen to your husband cannot be your major concern now. your kids are in potential danger, and OTHER kids - someone else's kids - are being hurt NOW.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Hi Hunny,
This is serious and I no how hard this must be for you but he is in big trouble, You have to get out love and call the police he is a danger to children in general and may not even be in control of his feelings thats my oppinion and thats what I would do even if I loved my husband as this is not at all normal behaviour far from it PLEASE TAKE CARE WITH LOVE AND PRAYERS MANDY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): Your husband is in trouble. And you need to be the strongest you have ever been in your life, here. You need to empower yourself to act responsibly in order to protect your children. I am not implying that he is abusing them..we simply don't know. But if he has child porn stashed in his files...then he's collecting illegal pornography that entails 'sexualization' of children. You need help and advisement from people who help others deal with this. You are in the UK. There is a public group called the Lucy Faithfull Foundation that help families dealing with this type of crisis. Their website is: http://www.lucyfaithfull.org/
Link into the--"Stop It Now Project." They also have free phone help line: 0808 1000 900 Become informed and alert. I don't care if he's the children's father...you children are gifts and they need to rely on you...make them your absolute, top priority.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): To answer Lauras question, do I think men who look at CHILD porn are sick, ABOSLUTLEY WITHOUT A DOUBT YES!!! If they are viewing it then they are turned on by it and this Laura is sick, bad, wrong... what ever word you want to pick. Children are supposed to be inocent and protected by adults, not exploited by them. How on earth do you justify exploiting a child just so some man, or woman, can satisfy their sexual pleasures? Lady, you need to seek counceling if you truely believe that is ok. All I can say is that I hope you are not responsible for the welfare of any children if you can honestly justify such behavior.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): What the hell are you people thinking..Its called having a moral code. If he is looking at children nude and is getting off from it he is most likely abusing his own. Even if he isn't I agree with the one lady...you wouldn't want your kids pics out there for all to see nor does any mother or proper father. They can be tormented with this for the rest of their lives. Your husband is adding to the sick bastards out their selling this stuff.If you don't want anyone to know its you , call from another phone. They can say they have been tracking him for months he won't be any of the wiser...God Bless..Hopefully he hasn't been sharing with other men your own kids pics..
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 "Regardless of if the man is only looking at other peoples children or if in fact he is looking at your children, the fact of the matter is he is looking at child porn! You can not ignore it, you can not act like you did not find it and you certianly can not accept it!"
I think I disagree with the above statement. I think it is too extreme thinking. Many normal men view porn and all kinds of porn.Some of them saved them in their mobile's and some on their pc's.
In some countries , there are laws against saving porn on mobiles or on pc's.(Child porn) But there are some men who are oblivious of the laws.
Do you think those men are bad ? Just viewing them is wrong.Now, this is an extreme view. There are men who view them and are normal and they are not sick. To brand every person who view them as needing help is just unacceptable.
It is only when they are addicted to it ,then it is wrong.
But to report to the police, I think , you only spite yourself because you will be the one who will get hurt more than him.
I don't like child porn but some men do look at it but it does not mean that they are into child porn or addicted to it. You need to make a big difference .Looking at and doing child porn are two completely different things.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2008): I'm surprised that there is actually conflict in the advise you are recieveing! There is only one answer of how to handle this situation, get your kids out of that house and call the police! Child porn is not only illegal but it is disgusting and imoral and there is no excuse for how he obtained them. Regardless of if the man is only looking at other peoples children or if in fact he is looking at your children, the fact of the matter is he is looking at child porn! You can not ignore it, you can not act like you did not find it and you certianly can not accept it! Your husband needs help, and if he is hiding this material he knows it is wrong and therefore I do not believe he will accept help unless ordered by the athorities. I am not familiar with the UK laws as Laura was discussing, but if you have no legal recourse, you still have an obligation to your children as well as to other mothers out there, to make sure this man knows that this is not right and you will not support or protect him over any child!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? You are supposed to be helping people to make the RIGHT decisions, not to ignore them!
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (25 January 2008):
If you are in the UK, will reporting to the police help?
Well! They will take down your report and maybe send someone to interview your husband and that would be the end.
Most probably , your report will just end up in the file cabinet and no actions would be taken .
The police cannot protect you 24 hours a day. If you think this way , you are living in your own fantasy land.
Just read the news in the UK and how see bad the situation is.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (25 January 2008):
You said your husband is into child porn. What exactly do you mean by that?
Is he involved in the making of child porn .Kidnapping children and forcing them to make sex videos or just saving those pixs and videos?
If it is just saving those videos in your PC, you should just forget you ever saw them. Has your life and children being threatened over this issue? Your being threatened before for leaving is another issue.
I would agree with Timelikethese.
If you report to the police, think about what will happen to you.You will also be affected. Who is going to pay those bills and feed your kids?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Ok....at first, I was just going to say to leave it alone, but you said that he has threatened you in the past. Well, this is what you do.....again find the files, then make a phone call to the police from another phone...not your home phone and call the police to report your husband, but do it 'annonmously'. If you are able to lift just one file from the secret stash he has...then do so. Let the police handle it from there. Make sure you get the 'checkbook' first.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 January 2008):
Having those pixs and saving them does not make him a criminal or pedophile. You need more proof that he is a confirmed pedophile before you go to the police or you will destroy your own family over this matter. You are the one who will suffer from the backlash if you report to the police . If you want your husband to go to jail or in trouble, by all means report him.
People tend to be presumptuous and jumped to conclusions.
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female
reader, Timeslikethese +, writes (24 January 2008):
Interestingly, I was not immediately concerned for your children and unless you have found evidence to the contrary I wouldn't make any hasty decisions regarding their relationship with your husband. His interest in pornographic images of children doesn't automatically mean he will harm his own. I suppose you could equate it, on some level, to the feeling that gay men fancy all males, it's simply not true.
Talk to your children and, without being too involved, ask them about their relationship with their father and whether or not they are comfortable with him. Reassure them that they can talk to you, that they are loved and that you will always protect them no matter what. To do this in a way that does not alarm them with regard to their father will be tricky, but you know your children and you know how to talk to them.
Having these images and actually having a sexual relationship with a child are two completely different things. It's a big debate at the moment, is it better to view these images then perform the acts yourself? Will satisyfing his needs in this way prevent him from seeking relief elsewhere?
Paedophilia is, more often than not, the manifestation of a deep seated trauma. His aggressive nature suggests this would be the case. I also imagine this means he isn't likely to take kindly to a discussion regarding what you have found. I do think that you should leave this man as he sounds unlikely to respond to your willingness to help, but I do think that it would be unfair to mention the images, if your children have not been harmed, as it would have a very big impact on their relationship.
Perhaps stay with a family member and, if he threatens you, tell him what you have discovered and that you will phone the police if he tries to harm you but that you will not if he leaves you alone. If this is not enough and he still tries to harm you, he has made the choice himself.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): There's such a thing as Police Protection. They'll have dealt with this situation before and they'll know what to do to protect you from harm.
All I can say is that this is obviously a dangerous paedophile that you're married to, and that you need to involve the police. Tell them that he's threatened to kill you.
You and your kids need to get away from this man now before any harm is done to either you or your children - if it hasn't been done already.
You can't think much of your childrens' welfare if you don't take some action. Sorry, but you need a big kick up the arse if you're not willing to do this for their sake, much less your own. A simple telephone call is all it will take.
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know i should go to the police but scared of my husband because i tried to leave him before but threatened me and said he woud kill me or get someone else to do it if i left him or reported him for anything
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female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (22 January 2008):
 I can understand this is very hard for you but you need to involve the police. Looking at child porn is never acceptable and shows there is something seriously wrong with him. You have a duty to protect your children.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Hi,
Perhaps I came over as harsh towards you. I can understand it must be very difficult, and not as straight forward as it should be.
But if you have found evidence of what your husband is looking at. I would not go trying to find more of this, as Anon said you should. If this comes out, and you have been looking as well, you could get the blame along with your husband, even though you were totally inocent. This would risk you losing your own children into care, which I'm sure you wouldnt want.
You have to cut this man out of your life. Its not normal to look at this stuff, no matter how much these men try to justify it.
Yes they are sick, and they need help.
But I have worked with abused children. And if you knew first hand the damage that this does to thier little lives, believe me you wouldnt think twice.
I really am sorry if I upset you, but your children need to be protected.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): I know it's a tough call for you, but if I were you I'd be very worried indeed, especially having 5 kids around the house. A phone call to the police might not be a bad idea.
If he's downloaded this stuff from his own computer onto a memory stick the police will be able to find it on there, and if he's paid for it via credit card you can expect a knock on the door from the Boys in Blue some time soon anyway.
Your kids are quite likely to be at risk. You don't know where his fantasy ends and reality starts. Do you want to run the risk of your kids being damaged for life? It could happen unless you intervene - and the sooner you do it the better.
Phil
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): This is a very difficult situation that you are in. I assume that you are speaking of the father of your 5 children? He is your husband, your partner and the father of your kids. So it is not as easy as reporting him to the police. I would suggest you investigate more in to the matter, find out excatly what he has stored and what he has and hasnt done. Maybe speak to your children confidentially and try to find out if there is anything that they are hiding from you without distressing them about their father (he might have not done anything to them and it would just traumatize them- You may start a conversation and let them know that no matter what they tell you its alright) You should also confront your husband and suggest seeing a psychologist. Point out that child pornography is a crime and that he could be jailed for it. Take it step by step and dont make rash decisions. I suggest speaking to a psychologist. counsellor yourself to seek professionbal help. Because in the end they probably have the most experience in such matters.
Good luck
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (22 January 2008):
If you have five children, how would you like it if a guy has a porn piucture of one of them?
How do you know that your husband isn't selling phot's of his own kids on line.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO!!!!!! Tell the police. This man needs locking up.
I would never cover a mans Arse, and risk my childrens safety. Thats what you are doing by not telling the police.
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