A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I just found out that my husband has been lying to me for the past six months (the same time he had just started work at a new location - same company, but in a different area of the state). When he comes home from work, I'll ask how his day was, did he have a good lunch, etc. He'll say what he did that day, who he ate lunch with, etc. This group that he mentions that he eats lunch with remains pretty consistent (a mixed group of about five people). However, I just found out that he has refrained, from day one, of ever including the name of one particular woman (a woman, like his other co-workers, that I have never met). Now he denies having a reason for having lied about eating lunch with this woman. When I ask him why he lied to me about her, he'll just say, "I don't know. I don't care about her." To me, everyone has a reason for why they do what they do (or why they say what they say). Am I being overreactive? I am suspicious of him because I don't know why a man would lie about another woman to his wife except for the obvious reason (which he denies). If it is innocent, then why lie?!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2010): You seem jealous. Continue being the way you are and you might lose him. Calm down it's just lunch with people and some woman. He probably didn't want to say anything because he knew how you would react!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (10 November 2010):
 He could have felt it wasn't necessary to point out a woman ate lunch with his group, maybe she just joined their lunch group. Or he refrained from telling you because he knew you might get upset. How did you find out? You never have met his co-workers because you may be out of their way considering you guys live in another state, or some people keep work at work. Can't tell you exactly why he lied, but I would give him the benefit of the doubt it's just lunch. Not to mention with a group of people, if he was having solo lunch dates with her then that would be something to question.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (10 November 2010):
Are you the jealous type? He may have deleted the female name just so he wouldnt have to go through a jealous episode. In itself, I see no problem with eating lunch in a group on people where one happens to be from the opposite sex. In fact, its pretty silly to even think that would be the case. Given a 50/50 distribution, there is only about a 3% chance that a random selection of five people will result in a homogeneous sexual group.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (10 November 2010):
 That seems really odd. Normally when people don't have something to hide, they won't think twice about mentioning it in passing. Something very similar had happened to me as well; someone I once dated would talk about his friends all the time (female friends included), but always conveniently left out the fact that he was hanging out with one particular girl. After we broke up, she was the one he ended up dating. The fact that your husband never mentioned this one particular woman makes me think he's definitely attracted to her, and has been trying to hide this from you the whole time. Whether he'll take it further or not, I really couldn't tell you.
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