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Husband facing unwanted divorce without communication

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 8 April 2015)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Ok my wife and I have been married almost 6 years, we were deeply in love with one another . Then my wife got a job in another state almost a year after we were married. So I moved with her, I was arrested for a crime I did not commit, 3 years of not being able to work because of the charges, during those years we had two children a boy and a girl.

We loved our children so much. So now it's 2015 2 years after my charges were dismissed and I'm trying to get back in my feet, I got my CDL license and I'm making good money. The problem is while I was going through the legal issues I was depressed I was 22 years old facing 40 years in prison.

She can't seem to understand that or why I was depressed, I wasn't the best man at that time, but I never cheated, never hit her or started fights with her. And I'm sorry she had to work through both pregnancies up to birth. But I am trying to right my wrongs by working and providing.

The issue is she now has been hired for a better job in law enforcement and she took it the issue now us she will be moving to another state. She is in training now and has been for 2 months and refuses to talk to me. I drive 5 days a week and am alone out here. She only texts me, and that has been to say "it's over, I'm done, have a nice life, you can have custody of the kids, my job will have me traveling a lot". I don't know what to do. I love my wife and I don't want our children to grow up without their mother around. What can I do if she won't even talk to me?

View related questions: depressed, divorce, in jail, money, text

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

I've always feared this kind if situation. But as bad as it is, do you want to be with the type if woman who would abandon her kids? Not to mention abandon you!

DO get child support. If she's working she owes you that much.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntShe has checked out of her life with you for whatever reason. I do not think it's about you.

Congrats on getting your life back together after the charges.

I would let her go and move on with your life. She may in time want to be involved with the children but for now I would see an attorney, file for full custody, have child support (FROM HER TO YOU) set up and begin your life as a single dad.

You can't make her love you or want you or want to be with the children.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (8 April 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Sorry to hear you are going through an unwanted divorce. However, It seems that your wife has made up her mind to point of giving you custody of the kids. Normally I would tell you to fight to save this, but she seems dead set on it.

"If you are weak in a crisis, then you are weak indeed."

Time for you to man up and mother up. Be the best father and mother your kids could have. Sure things will be hard and even seem impossible sometimes, but as long as you are breathing...you will not quit, get depressed, feel sorry for yourself, or whine and complain about what is happening to you. This is like mission impossible...do you choose to accept this mission...Oh hell yes!!!

You could have spent the next 40 years in jail with your kids just visiting...Now you get to have your kids for the next 40 years and teach them not to end up in jail.

You might think this is hard...but 40 years in jail could have been worse. You would have missed all your kids special days and moments in life, Your wife would have still divorced you. By the time you got out, you would really have nothing.

So...count your blessings...This is not a bad point in life...it's a new beginning. A disloyal wife can be replaced. Years wasted behind bars and being depressed, feeling sorry for yourself...well those cannot.

Push up your chest. Put on your cape. Tighten your boots, and get ready. Because you have been given a challenge that you will not lose.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (8 April 2015):

Garbo agony auntThere is nothing to do. She probably had it on her mind to leave you for a while, during your legal ordeal. It's just she had no financial means. Now that she thinks that she can be independent she gave you a boot. She made up her mind and she seems not to care what you think about that. You can keep trying but eventually you will divorce. I think that you should start minding yourself because she does not want any part of you.

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