A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone i just have some problems in my marriage i've been with my husband 4yrs we have a 11month girl what happened we moved from PR 3yrs ago i was livin with his aunt when zhe found out i was pregnant she threw us out we had to live in a shelter until now.(we got an apt)but he hasnt worked all these yrs i feel tired im the one trying to get a job he doesnt move to finding one i have never received a present on any occasion we live off welfare with the rent and light bill i only stay with a few $$$ which is for diapers, stuff for the house i cant even afford to buy clothes.And im trying to do the best to progress in life but he doesnt help at all his mom always gave him everything and now he doesnt want to work he just is not interested in goals or the future, right now i pay 250 of rent but the welfare is gonna help me untill december after that i have to pay850 wen i only receive so little im worried that im not gonna be able to pay everything by myself i really dont know wat to do please help me.sorry i wrote so much but i need sombody to talk to..thanxs Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Talking is fine. When you write down things you see them clearer yourself.
First question: do you see it best if you stay with your husband or not? I am all for respecting the committment, but I worry you are not in a position where you have the luxury of wondering about love or not love.
Second question: what would happen if you separated from your husband? How much money would you have? Do you have any family that you could stay with?
You are a young and strong woman, and your daughter depends on you. You depend on your husband to help you out, but he does nothing. I fear your life with him will stay this way, as he has no goals and doesn't seek a job. Will you not be better off alone, without having to pay his bills as well? Where you can get a job, hopefully someone can baby-sit your daughter while you are at work?
Try and plan things out, as I don't know the system of the county you live in, so I can not help you with the techincal things. But you should look them up, look at what your options are and make the best decision for you and your daughter.
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