A
female
age
41-50,
*ariposa28
writes:I just found out that my husband is still corresponding with his ex. I feel so betrayed because I thought he finally understood how I felt about him talking to her and for the simple fact that he assured me that he wouldn't talk to her for respect of our marriage. But I found 2 new email accounts in his name and the only person who has his email is her. He says nothing is happening between them but when we first got together she was constantly calling him and writing him letters. And she still calls him Boo or babe and sends him pictures of her little boy. I'm starting to wonder if he fathered her son. And I wouldn't of had a problem with him talking to her if it wasn't for the past. I am on the verge of calling it quits. I need some advice. Does any one have it for me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 January 2014):
Remember that it's perfectly possible to be 100% platonic with an ex. They were likely good friends for quite awhile and that doesn't always end even though the romantic relationship does.
On the other hand, this is how cheating begins.
So, it all boils down to whether or not you trust your husband. Obviously this hurts your trust, but did he say anything inappropriate in his correspondence with her or was it strictly friendly?
He may understand how you feel about this, but that doesn't mean he agrees with you. It's difficult to cut someone out of your life simply because someone else tells you to.
At this point there's no reason to think that asking him to quit talking to her will work. He's made his decision, you can either accept it or move on. Maybe a marriage counselor would have a better solution for you.
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