A
female
age
51-59,
*knhrtwife
writes:My husband and I have been married for 12 years, we have 4 children, and I am a stay at home mom. He controls everything, in the 12 years we have had our ups and downs, and mostly because I tend to not tell the truth about situations because his reactions tend to scare me. Four years ago I lost my wedding ring driving thru the desert, and did not realize till I was home, I didnt tell him, because he would have flipped out, so I bought a cheap replacement and have worn it since. He also lost his about the same time but it was not a big deal to him, since he never wore it in the first place, in fact the only time he did wear it was on our wedding day and honeymoon. Only a couple friends knew about this, but one mentioned this to her husband, now they are divorcing and he told my husband about the ring, well he reacted exactly how I knew he would, and has moved out. It has been 3 weeks, and I am scared, hurt, abandoned... I have apologized for lieing, but he wont let go, and he is real good at holding on to peoples wrongs and bringing them back up over and over. He has not said if we are divorcing or seperating, but leaves me with no money for my kids. I really need some sound advice, because I am driving myself mad with wondering if he even wants to reconcile or if he has found someone and is using this as a excuse out. Should I even bother or move on. I love him and miss him. Help!
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cheap, money, move on, moved out, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): You are in the US, and should speak with a lawyer. After 12 years of marriage, 4 kids, and he blows up over some piddly little thing that happens years prior? I am actually married to a man like that, and sometimes wish I wasn't. Dear, he's a total jerk, and isn't going to get better. You knew he would do it, he fulfilled your prediction, and a lawyer will make sure that he supports you and your children.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): from what you have written you know you have to move on. it will be hard but his behaviour is so inexcusable. there is more to his sudden disappearance. so salvage your pride. do not beg. he just did not abondone you , he abandoned your kids as well. this should tell you the type of man he is. what do you actually love about him? this man is nasty and right now you can do without nasty. do not let him know how devastated you are. you deserve so much better.
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A
male
reader, citic101  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 He sounds like a pig , you should move on and keep the house and take him to court and take everything he will ever have. after 12 yrs of marriage and 4 kids I am sure he has found someone else and is using this as an excuse.
good luck
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