A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 27 years admits he is sarcastic and is a name caller. He says the opposite of what is meant and then say "I was joking" This happens is front of your children and he thinks is ok and I am overly sensitive. Is this ok in a marriage or will it hurt the relationship? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): Woman you have put up with this abuse for 27 years? Are you out of your mind? Who in the f---k? is this Neanderthal and where did you find him? This is absolutely horrible.
Oh, he says he is just joking? Well tell him a joke of your own. Tell him your tired of him and his bullshit and he has till the end of the month to straighten up or your throwing his stuff out onto the front lawn and filing for divorce. And why are your children not supporting you also? What the Hell is going on with this? Abuse is abuse. Is all your children boys who have turned into their dads? Honey your relationship is going to be over. For all intensive purposes it already is. You need out of this chamber of horrors and need to check into a local women abuse shelter. Don't delay. Yesterday was to late. Hurry.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (7 May 2013):
 27 years and your only now wondering about damage to your marriage???
How do you feel about it? Does it make you angry or is it working for you?
It's your marriage, you know if things are good or not. If it bothers you, then you need to find ways to get him to stop or at least bring it to his attention how upset you feel.
You've haven't said enough in your post to tell us how you feel. Each marriage is different, your's with your sarcastic husband could be working just fine.
PS: Not good for children though, it could destroy their marriages and relationships when they meet people who don't like this communication style.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (7 May 2013):
 Sarcasm is usually described as the LOWEST form of wit because in many many cases it is NOT funny and is a thinly veiled attempt to denigrate another party. That's not humor. That's abuse if the joke is not a shared one.
Sarcasm is making fun (often cruelly) of another person to make the Sarcasm deliverer feel SUPERIOR to their victim.
It is just Aggression in another format. It is often cruel. It undermines the recipient and is meant to put down the recipient. It is unkind in many instances.
Inadequate people often make use of sarcasm to assert what they think is their Superiority over the person they denigrate. NOT OK at all.
He does it infront of others so that is him TRYING TO HUMILIATE you and undermine you in front of your family. Once again it is a form of abuse.
These are the actions of a man I would call a coward and a nasty piece of work. It is mean and cruel.
First he calls you something nasty and then tries to excuse his nastiness with the pathetic remark that it was "just a joke".
He is too weak and spineless to say what he really thinks. Because he does not want to face up the consequences of honesty.
Just tell him, "Yes, I have a very healthy sense of humor, I just don't share your rather pathetic warped sense of humor because you are not funny, you are rude and boring"
If someone dared to say to another, "you are a lowlife useless pathetic moronic husband who is spineless," and then when the other person objected to such nastiness (with justification) but then the deliverer of the nastiness then just turedn around and said, "Gee John, it was just a joke, you're too sensitive, where's your sense of humor today?" I doubt that the person who heard this said about them would think it was a joke. In fact it is an attempt to ABUSE the person and then HIDE behind the very WEAK DEFENCE in saying it was "just a joke".
No it is not a joke.
Yes it will poison a relationship.
Stand up to it and make it clear that his "joke" is over. And to speak to you respectfully in future.
And explain the consequences if her persists.
And mean what you say.
And follow through if he ignores your request.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2013): It is not okay. You need to do the same back inorder for him to see just how inappropriate it is.
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