A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend that I met about 5 years ago. At that time he had a serious girlfriend. Three years ago they broke up and we started hanging out all of the time. About a year ago, we were drunk and we ended up sleeping together. This continued to happen when we would go out, but the next morning it was always the same, we were normal best friends and would continue to hang out, go to the movies, talk etc. We are so close that people assume that we are together. I always played it off and we joked about other people liking one of us. Anyway, about 6 months ago we moved in to an apartment (2 bedrooms) together and we continued to hang out and yes sleep together on occasion. About a month ago he met a girl and now they are dating. He stays at her house 3-4 times a week. I get a long well with her when she is around, but secretly I resent and envy her.I miss him when he not around and I feel like the connection that we once had is going away. I am so scared that they are really going to be together and that we will not be roomates or best friends anymore.I can already feel that has stopped telling me things.I also feel resentful of him in a way and very hurt and used because of the distance that we now have and that he was only sleeping with me because he did not have anyone else. I was convienent for him? I also saw an email from him in which he said "my stupid roomated did this..." Someone tell me how to get over these feelings of hurt and betrayl and what to do about our living situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): Either, move out or have him move out! Tell him what you found on the e-mail and say it's not working anymore. That you didn't know that he was that kind of person. Just be strong and you will get through it.
A
male
reader, mikey199 +, writes (6 October 2008):
 Well this seems like a real pickle you both got yourselves into....
On one hand, it really is BOTH of your faults for letting it get this involved by living together but still sleeping together. but on the other hand, it really doesn't seem very fair of him to go off and have a girlfriend come over lot's.
If i were you i would try and not feel like you were 'used' or 'convineint' because that doesnt seem like this is what that is. In reality he probably is truthfully blind to alot of this, and selfishly did not consider your feeling's about the whole issue.
If you truly are 'best friends', the best (and scariest) thing You could do is sit him down and ask him to be real with you and at least get things out in the open about your hurt feelings about the situation.
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