A
female
age
30-35,
*ilaRodriguez
writes:Hi my name is Mila, I am in a relationship and I am not sure what to do. In January I started talking to a guy in my college, I had seen him before but did not think much of it. After the first day of talking to him he seemed like a good guy howeveri had already stereotyped him to be cocky, arrogant and a player because of his appearance.I didn't see him for about a week then when I saw him he seemed happy to see me and we began talking more, I immediately knew he was interested in me but I wasn't really that interested in him and knew he would eventually get tierd of chasing after me and stop.However, our conversations soon became more serious as he confided in me and told me he broke up with his girlfriend and cheated on her, he kissed another girl on holiday but really liked his girlfriend and I began liking him and confided in him told him I was cheated on before. Soon we spent everyday talking after college and I found out that we had mutal friends. My birthday was coming up but a week before he went Prague with some friends and even though we were not together he assured me that he would behave when he got back he wanted to see me but I was unable to, and could only see him on one day and I invited him to the cinema with me and my friends but he didn't want to go with me and my friends which I thought was odd especially because he agreed to come but when I told him one of our mutal friends were going he automatically said no. This was a couple of days before my birthday and we didn't talk anymore. He even forgot my birthday which hurt because I was starting to like him. He apologiized and said he would make it up 2 me.In March one day he invited me to his house when his mum went to Switzerland and asked me to be his girlfriend. Howver, he didn't want anyone to know because he has previous bad experiences of people getting involved in his relationship in school, I agreed.Couple of weeks later I was going home when I saw one of the people we know in common which is his best friends girlfriend and she askd if we was together because she was with him a couple of days ago and had the impression he was with his ex girlfriend. I was furious and broke up with him. He soon called again and again I eventually answered and he told me that he cannot stop talking to his ex girlfriend because he cheated on her,took her virginity and they were together for two years and she said she would kill herself if he moved on and he feels responsible for her and assured me I'm his future and wants to be with me. I saw he was honest so I gave him a chance.Everytime we was togther she would call or text it began annoying me although there was nothing I could do.She became a big strain on our relationship because all our arguments were about her.To make things worse he is a very closed person who does not talk about his feelings and does not want people to know about us so, there was so many things that began troubling me.Til this day they talk but I do not know what to do, I can help getting jealous especially because I really like him. I do not want to argue with him but I do not want him to cheat either. Please Help me.
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best friend, broke up, ex girlfriend, his ex, jealous, on holiday, player, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 To be honest the excuses he used to you to keep in touch with his ex is excuses that most men use when the want to get out of trouble with there girlfriend. Don't fall for it, you sound like a smart girl so stop letting him treat you like this. You are like his dirty little secret. Yes I agree he does have a lot of history with this girl but I could almost guarantee that if she wanted him back he would jump at the chance. I think he is not telling her about you because he wants her back and you are his back up plan. If she threatened to kill herself if he moved on well then she would still be with him if he was that important to her she would have forgiven him. I honestly think the best thing you can do is to tell him either you both go public with your relationship and let people know or else it is over. Don't let him talk you out of it.
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