A
female
age
41-50,
*utti
writes:I am a 28 year old mother of one. I have been with my husband (my child's father) for 9.5 years. We got married on the 3rd of July 2010. Two weeks later, I found out that he was cheating on me with his friend's sister. I was more in a state of unbelievable shock than I was devastated. He showed a lot of remorse and although I have forgiven to save my own sanity, I cannot forget. This festive season is proving to be one of the worst I ever had. My husband does not seem to want to spend time with his family. The other day, I planned a date for us and he came back home late and drunk and ended up falling asleep, leaving me all dressed up with nowhere to go. He said that he would make it up to me but he did not. Boxing Day was meant to be family day but he isolated himself from me and my son's company and this outing ended in tears long before it even started. We have not spoken to each other ever since. This morning, he told me that he will be going to a friend's house after work and I keep wondering if he is not cheatin on me yet again.I feel like I am losing my mind. If he could cheat on me 2 weeks after we got married and he treats me this way 8 months into this so-called marriage, how are things going to be 10 years down the line? He has landed me in hospital before for depression and I don't want to go back there. I am seriously considering divorce. I want to raise my son on my own without all this drama.In sum, this man treats me badly, he does not seem to want to spend social time with me, he prefers going out with his friends as opposed to going out with me, he spoils every outing that we plan and I cannot forget the fact that he cheated on me so soon after the wedding. I feel like this has doomed our marriage and I want out because I am so hurt and I cannot seem to see past this betrayal. What am I to do?
View related questions:
cheated on me, divorce, drunk, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): Hello tutti, I know these are sad, frustrating days for you. You are hurting so bad and unfortunately you know the answer to your question.
Just read what you have written here. The betrayal, the hurt and pain, he has chosen 'friends' over his wife and kid. He has already replaced u in his life and just uses your home to bunk when he has exhausted all other forms of entertainment.
In whose name is the house?
Do u have emotional support from family and friends?
What about your job? Do u earn a so called decent income?
From the above u can deduce that I am leaning towards a divorce. This man will NEVER change. And I think you know it. His treatment of you landed you in hospital and that is a clear indication of the kind of man he is. He is so toxic fir you and your son.
Be strong girl. You are so young. You have years ahead of you. Value your son and enjoy doing things with him. Forget about your so called hb, he is more a deadbeat hb and father anyways.
Make a list, plan your divorce. Do not just threaten him with divorce. Do u have an alternative place to live? Or can u still stay in the house?
Be wise my dear. Plan and execute your divorce and don't look back. You know in your heart that it is over.
Yes it will mean that your almost 10 yrs is over but it will herald s new era in your life.
I have a suggestion for you its almost New years. So on the 31st go to church (if you do) and welcome in the new blessed year. Then continue by going to a party and just enjoy. Enjoy your life, get down and boogy, re capture your joy. Make 2011 count as taking back your life. If you are struggling with conflicting emotions write to DC again, we will provide u with strength.
Dress up, Girl. Pamper yourself. Re invest in you. Do not just sit at home waiting for a 'cheating' hb to come back. Get someone to care for your child, and you go to the movies, mall, dancing. Learn to enjoy being you. Go to a restaurant alone. I have done this myself. It is good for your soul to spend quality time with yourself.
But in all you do: do Not forget GOD. He will help you through all this. Listen to your inner voice. I do not. Know what religion and race you are. But you may find help from religious elders too.
So yes, I have jumper to so many aspects that you need to be aware of and what to do. In the end reclaim YOU. Trust your gut and go make a difference in your life and for your son.
Good luck Tutti. You will be ok Hun!
LoveGirl
|
