A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello CupidWhat will you call a girl who leads you on for a good few months of dating until you realise she has a boyfriend already?How would you cope up with that and what will you do ? Confronting her or asking why she did it be of any help ?
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female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (8 March 2014):
 Block her on the social networks you both use.
Classes you can't do much about... if it's not a large lecture hall you are going to notice each other there. That said, if she knows why you've cut contact with her, I doubt she'll approach you. If anything she's probably very embarrassed at being found out as a two-timing liar, and hoping like hell you're not going to tell her other boyfriend (or a mutual friend who might.)
As for getting over her, just imagine dating her for a few YEARS or proposing to her and THEN finding this out. It sounds like she'd have let things go on indefinitely if you hadn't found out about the game she was playing. You definitely don't want this girl (or anyone who would do that to you) in your life, so I'd look at this like having dodged a bullet as opposed to something to regret or be sad about.
Go out and do fun things with friends until you feel ready to date someone again.
Best wishes!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I am not sure how to thank you for the amazing advice you have for many people in need!Thanks a million !Any ways to get over her quickly ?We have been dating for good 5 months and seeing a lot of each other and talking a lot over social network! I have deleted all her numbers messages and everything!Now what? Any other things I can do to make this transition smoother?The worst part is I be seeing a lot of her as she studies in same university but different courses!Please advice
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (8 March 2014):
What I'd CALL her is irrelevant... what I'd DO is move on and be grateful I didn't waste any more time on someone who lies and cheats. It doesn't matter why she did it - she's still not someone you want to keep in your life.
Get tested for STIs and if it turns out you have caught something from her, make sure you tell her boyfriend. He has a right to know if his health is concerned.
Otherwise, just leave her and don't look back.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 March 2014):
 What would I call her? Nothing nice... Emotionally bankrupt" might be the "nicest" thing I can think of.
I agree, if you slept with her - get tested now and again in 6 months.( or as your doctor suggests)
Would I confront a person like that? No, she ISN'T WORTH it. SHE wouldn't GIVE a darn. If she actually gave a darn about you AND/OR her BF - she would have gone on dates with you. Even IF you confronted her she would fill you with BS excuses and try and make this about YOU or maybe her "bad" BF. She wouldn't OWN her actions. People like that don't.
I would actually do like Cerberus mentioned, BLOCK her and 100% ignore her. I wouldn't even say hi if I met her on the street. She'd get "a WHO the F are you?" look, if she said HI to me. Then I'd keep on walking.
And I agree, I would be 100% sure that she DOES have a BF before cutting her off.
I bet it feels like a slap in the face or a kick in the gut, but NOW you know what kind of person she is. Be glad it didn't go further then it did. And ACCEPT that this was NOT your doing. People like her are GOOD at these games. It's not like they have a tattoo on their forehead or come with a warning sticker.
Some times you have to kiss a few frog, in your case you kissed a toad. Shit happens. Set yourself free and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2014): "What will you call a girl who leads you on for a good few months of dating until you realise she has a boyfriend already?"
A bitch.
"How would you cope up with that and what will you do?"
I'd cope with it fine, I'd just lick my wounds, get tested for STI's and move on.
"Confronting her or asking why she did it be of any help?"
For me? No. I don't need to hear her excuses. I can understand what she did, that it was wrong and she will literally have no good reason for it. She doesn't deserve closure.
If I was absolutely certain she had a boyfriend and was cheating with me behind his back. I would do nothing, I'd just cut her off all social networks, delete her number and completely ignore her in public and her messages.
But I'd have to be certain she did actually have a boyfriend. Her punishment will never knowing why I just completely stopped talking to her one day and never give her closure on the matter.
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