A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i just dont know what to do i met this wonderful man in rehab (imagine that)alittle over 4 years ago his problem was alcohol mine alcohol and meth. When we met i had just got out of prison fresh off the bus. i had been busted for drugs two times lost my kids just been down a rough road i have 5 children 4 of them are back in my life my little girl who i have no contact with yet will be soon i hope.while we were in rehab we became good close friends our councelor had asked me to talk with him because we had both lost a spouse and while i was in prison i took a grief and loss class we got closer and closer i just couldnt believe that there was still a real honest respectable genuine man left on this earth that was not over 60 years old. i moved in with him right after rehab we have kept each other sober ive got 4 out of 5 kids back that they said i never would c.p.s that is but together we have worked on our kids he has 2 boys now 16 and 12 was 12 and 8 we have had them for 3 days a week usually unless its summer break. The oldest boy has wanted to live with us for quite some time but mom wouldnt let him, so last week she came to me and my husband oh ya we got married last march and asked us if we would take the 16 year old cause she is divorcing i was in shock last thing i exspected he is hands down a slob i want to know how to get him to pick up after himself and just help out without being harsh any advice will help
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (22 October 2008):
 Excellent idea, I did the same with my kid's toys because they didn't pick them up after repeated warnings. Works like a charm. If he's 16 you can also tell him he can't take the car unless he keeps his room clean, they really respond to that at his age.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): I think you and your husband must spel out the rules to him upfront. He needs to know what is expected from him, what is allowed and what not. You and your husband need to be firm on this and need to stand together on this.( You will need his support).
Don't allow this youngster to rock your marriage. Talk to your husband about this and stand together. Give the youngster love and understanding but be firm.
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