A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I am wondering if someone could tell me how to win a mind game ( push/ pull game) a coworker guy is playing on me? Is there really any way to win this game as a girl. Thanks for all the help.
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at work, co-worker Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 July 2013):
 Why play games? He is a colleague, treat him like one, not a potential suitor.
A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (13 July 2013):
 You're a little old to be playing high school games, aren't you?
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (13 July 2013):
I like YouWish's answer here. you need to forget about this loser and get on with your job. work is hard enough without adding these mindgames to the mix
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 July 2013):
 First of all, at your age, you're not a girl. You're a woman.
Second, this guy is doing it for the ego boost with no intention of starting something with you. You didn't mention if he has a wife or girlfriend, because he's acting like he does.
Third and most important, you're in the workplace. This flirting, hot and heavy, mind game, push/pull...all of this distraction puts your livelihood in jeopardy. Work is a place to be professional. Your job, your position, your income, your substance, and your duty. Crushes and flirts are for off hours.
Don't feed the ego, and don't feed your feelings for him. You have so many other choices. Choose OUTSIDE of work. Only speak or respond to this guy regarding work. Make no special trips to see him, ask about him, or make a scene ignoring him. Just do your job as if you have blinders on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for taking time and answering my question/ asking for more details. Well, I had a hidden crush on this guy before, then he started to play as he had a crush on me. It was more as light flirts and lots of eye contact. After a day that he was so into me, the next day suddenly he pushed me back and stopped any talks or eye contact at all cost. Just consider that i am one of those girls who doesnt do any moves on guys. so there was nothing exaggerated from me but smiling at him when he was flirting and all. At that time, I didnt know anything about this pull/ push game, so I was wondering about the reason but respected his wish and did not pursue him. After a while he started to pull me back with the same flirts and eye contacts, but it took 2-3 months for me to start being friendly with him. This time things got hotter and there was a sexual infatuation going on between us, just a feeling. Until he suddenly again backed off. After a few days he started to be friendly again, but i had enough. As some of you suggested as well, i do not want to continue this game with him. I just wamt to play his game for one more round as the very last round and i will be the one who ends it. My plan is to pretend that i reply to his " pull" this time and when everything is good between us, one day out of no where after a high peek of things, i suddenly stop everything and get all cold and NEVER come back to flirting terms with him as i am done. What do you think? Also, I guess he is playing some sort of this game with other girls at office too. More importantly, he seems to be after ego boost and not getting the girls to sleep with him. He has a very low self esteem, although he is very smart and has a great position. Guys do not respect him much in their groups, and it seems that he is really craving this attention from girls. So, what do you think about my plan? Thanks in advance!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 July 2013):
Could you please elaborate? Your question is answerable, but I think more details are necessary, because there is no generic one-size-fits-all response to that broad question.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (12 July 2013):
Thermonuclear war: Only winning move is to not play
Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (12 July 2013):
I wouldn't even get involved in games. You're in a professional environment, and all you're going to do is make yourself look like an ass in front of your boss, i.e. the guy signing your paychecks... Forget about the other guy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2013): It is hard to give you advice without knowing more information.
What caused it, what type of firm, is it important to win? What would happen if you lost?
Often disagreements are caused by misunderstandings on both parts. Sometimes once you become peeved it is very hard to let go of the "high ground"
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