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female
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anonymous
writes: I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than a year now but I've recently met this other boy who's kind of swept me off my feet. I really really like him. I'm thinking of leaving my boyfriend for him but .. what if I'm just jumping to conclusions and dumping my boyfriend is something I'd regret. What if things don't work out with the other guy? I'm scared to let all the memories and everything we have go.. but I think it might be time to see other people, I really want to get to know this new guy. If i did dump my boyfriend, what would I say was the reason.. I met someone new?.. I'm so confused.. What do i do?... help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): i think its hard but it sounds like you are scared to be alone. It sucks, its not fair and could be the best or worst decision you ever make, but you need to stay calm and decide who you would rather be with in the log run, whether its one person because you are bored of another, or the original bf because you dont want to be alone or cant leave him. it might be better to stay but i believe you shouldnt stay somewhere, with someone or in a job that you arent happy with.
just be in the right mind frame when you make the decision and good luck
A
female
reader, nadine hillside +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
maybe you should think before you act. If you do really like this other Guy more than your boyfriend maybe you should consider it, but say to yourself 'do i really know this Guy, how do i know he won't leave me or just use me'. If you do leave you boyfriend for the other Guy then it would be a wise idea to tell him why, because if you don't he will be ringing and textin to find out why you let him go.
If you really can't decide and you already know information about the other Guy then write down two lists one about the good and bad things about your boyfriend and the other about the good and bad things about this Guy.
I hope everything works out good luck.
Nadine
xxxx
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A
female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Its sounding as though you dont actually want to be in the realtionship that you are in, so you are maybe prolonging the agony. Its not fair to keep him hanging on just in case you think hes the better option in case things dont pan out. If you are falling for this other guy then its clear you dont have as much feeling for the guy you are with. Im not trying to sound harsh, but you need to be fair with everyone concerned. Say you stay with your bf, you might find in a few months time that you still dont want to be with him and you both end up hurt and miserable and you may resent him for not moving on. I cant really tell you which to do, its something you need to ask yourself, why are you feeling like this, is there something that your man isnt giving you, do you feel too tied to one person too soon, are you feeling that you havent really lived and want to see what else is out there ? or have you simply had your head turned by someone that looks to be a "seems" to be better for you. On the other hand you say you dont want to let all the memories that you have go, maybe the first thing to do would be to take yourself away from the situation with this new guy, see if you can talk to your bf and found out what it is you think you are missing. We all make choices in life, some are good some are bad, but we tend to sometimes make rash decisions that we later regret. I think first see if you can make a go of it with your bf, you cant do that with someone else on the scene, you are going to have to detach yourself. But equally, decisions we make now, will most probably have an effect on how our lives eventually pan out.
Do take time to think carefully about what you and the bf have and how you can enrich it or make it better before you go headlong into another relationship, where you could end up still feeling like this after another year.
Take care and good luck
x
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A
female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
Don't Stress, just relax and think for a minute. Ask yourself these questions:
1. How long have you known this Guy - how long have you known your boyfriend?
2. How well do you know this guy - has he got a girlfriend?
3. Is he more amazing than what you have with your boyfriend?
4. Can you see this possible new relationship going anywhere?
To tell your boyfriend why you are leaving him would be a wise thing, otherwise you'll have him ringing and texting you for weeks wanting to know why and when he eventually finds out the truth it'll hurt even more. IF and note I say IF you leave your boyfriend for this new guy, and it did go wrong, would your boyfriend take you back?
The easiest way to tell your boyfriend you are leaving him (if you decide to) is beofre hand, write down a short list of things that have gone wrong in the relationship and then memorise your list. Then talk to your boyfriend and say it right out, "I think we should see other people." If he asks why tell him what's on that list of yours! (note - don't actually TELL him you made a lsit) Just say you've been going over it in your head and you think it would be best.
If you truly can't choose than tell this new guy you think you're going to see how things turn out with your boyfriend first. If he is Genuine - he'll understand.
good Luck, all The Best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
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