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female
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anonymous
writes: Do you think counting condoms are a clear way to find out if someone is cheating..find one or two missing. is that a clear and definite sign that a person should break up...or other signs are better ways to see-such as how affectionate, excuses, not wanting to me as often etc etc.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Lostandalone thanks for ur input--usually his phone is on ringer 80 to 90% of the time. He falls asleep where i can easily go through his phone..unless he deletes anything i would suspect but still calls can come in when he is sleeping and i can see who it is etc. He does not drastically change his hair or anything. We dont speak every hour so a couple of hours will pass that i do not hear from him but at night--usually he is there or calls me back within an hour or so..on the rare occassion he has fallen asleep and didnt hear the phone but i think its true b/c he has a habit of just falling asleep if sitting or laying down. I didnt suspect too much but i can get paranoid about it. I do sometimes say i wanna see u on this day when we usually dont..and most of the times he says ok..soemtimes no for whatever reason--tired, gotta do things around the house etc..
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (16 August 2006):
 I don't think he's cheating by what you have said here but to catch a cheater you must know a cheater, I guess that makes me the man for the job. Not to make light of it but I did cheat on my ex ONCE and it never happened again but I will give you the run down:
1) Does he guard his cell phone with his life?
2) Does he take calls and walks away?
3) Does he keep his phone on silent or vibrate 90% of the time.
4) Did he change colognes or haircuts?
5) Does he go out and not call for hours?
These are some of the things that I did. You have to change your routine also. Most cheaters follow their partners routine closely so it will be more convenient to cheat. Throw him off by doing things differently every now and again and you will see something. Go over to his place at an earlier time, show up at his job unexpectedly for lunch, ask questions about things you wouldnt normally. This will throw him off and either he will become to afraid to cheat and stop or he will get caught red handed. I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): my b/f knows i am suspicious so i am sure he would delete texts..he did that one time months and months ago..he told me openly he still speaks to this girl once in awhile and he had the name as the right name..i gave him a hard time about it and that is when he lied and changed it to a guy..but with that case--i dont think he was cheating. He is pretty much available every weekend. Does not go out with the guys much. Every few months or so. Its hard to say does he want a lot more or a lot less. Sometimes its more than usual like twice in a night..sometimes its one. He is still affectionate with me, holds my hand, hugs, kisses etc. But i do believe one or 2 were missing.
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A
female
reader, Nay920 +, writes (16 August 2006):
you cant just count the condoms and think that he is cheating because he may have a brother or a friend who borrowed some condoms.The best way to see if your boyfriend is cheating is if you actually see him cheating what you need to is give your man the benefit of the doubt and belive him when he say that he`s not cheating.And give him some trust.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): its not really about i no longer trust--
i think i watch for things and try to make sure nothing is going on which i know is not right and not healthy..i do not know if that mean he cheated--i was just asking--there are better ways to go about finding out?--through his actions with me, etc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Cheaters/players:
Check their mobile phone for calls/texts, but you have to be discreet about it. Also check numbers put in under guys names as really they are probably girls, try phoning them.
Does he go away weekends on a regular basis supposedly with the boys? Check his credit card statement, meals at restaurants, strange hotels etc.
Is he secretive with his phone, dissappears to the toilet a lot while you're out.
Is he irritable with you lately wanting more/less sex?
Does he shut down his computer when you walk in the room,he could have an on-line relationship.
Does he try different moves in the bedroom? Does he pay more attention to his personal hygiene/grooming etc?
Is he offish towards you, not holding hands any more or cuddling etc.
These are the things my ex used to do to me when he was cheating, oh yes and the condoms.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): It is most unfortunate that you can no longer rely and trust in your partner.
If you feel and believe that you can not trust your partner and that you no longer love him and can not work out your problems/issues; why stay?
Is he willing to change? Is he willing to be what you want and need in a partner?
How long have you been dating? Is this the first time you "suspect" he is cheating? Is he? Have you asked him? Do you trust him?
I say when you, yourself, can no longer see you trusting and loving him that that should be a reason to consider leaving. If he doesn't wish to change or stop "cheating" then you decide if you want to stay with him knowing this or do you deserve someone who is more willing and able to be what you need in a partner.
What exactly are you looking/wanting in a life partner?
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