A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Lately, i've been feeling like my boyfriend is taking advantage. He never seems to give me any notice for anything - always assumes i am free and just demands it instead of asking. If he wants to stay over mine on a friday night (he doesn't always so its not always known), instead of asking me Thursday or before or even Friday morning, he will ask me at 4 or 5pm on Friday night and expect to be able to come over at 6 (even tho i work until 5). On the weekends, he keeps his motorbike at my house. I understand he will want to go out and ride it, but again there is no notice. He will send me a text Saturday morning and expect me to be home (so he can get it) in an hours time. Then he only wants to go out for a few hours so he expects me to be home again. On the weekend he told me he was going out with a buddy on a day we both had off from work. I asked if he was driving there or if he was being picked up. He told me that i was taking him to his friends house (about a 20 minute drive there). He didn't ask if i had plans. Just assumed. I actually had plans. He then told me that he would want to be be picked up at 2 but would let me know. I hadn't heard anything at that time so contacted him and he changed it to 5! I've spent my day off from work waiting around for him all day. He also wanted to go to a festival but did not want to take his car so asked to use mine (it was an hour away) and could not see why i need my car on a Saturday. I refused and he did not like it. But still made me pick up him in the end because he thinks i have nothing better to do. It shouldn't be like this. I dont get anything like this in return. My weekends lately always seem to be dependant on what he is doing. How can i get out of this bad situation?I am in my mid 20's and he is early 30s. We have been together for 3 years. It has probably always been a bit like this but the last 6 months he is getting worse.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (22 October 2012):
 Stop letting him treat you like this. Say no. Stop saying yes. When he says he wants his motorcycle and you need to drop everything to let him get it, say you're busy! When he demands your car, then throws a temper tantrum don't cave in and drive him yourself, stand your ground.
He is not "making" you do anything, you have free will, use it to say no.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 October 2012):
 I agree he's getting away with it because you permit it.
After 3 years, I'm sorry but it should be beyond dating at your age and his... I don't believe in long term dating for adults... either they are the right person to commence spending your life with or not.
He's not.
Stop saying yes.
Stop being a doormat.
when he texts or calls and says "i'm doing such and such" you can say... "that's nice i"m busy I won't be available" and he can go from there.. THEN GO DO YOUR THING.
time to cut him off dear...
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (22 October 2012):
 He is treating you like this because you allow him to. He's never going to change while he's got you running around after his every whim. I think the answer is simple. Talk to him and let him know you need to be treated with more respect and then don't give in to his demands! Next time he calls you on a Saturday and says you need to be back within the hour just tell him 'sorry but I'm busy' and the same when he expects you to spend your days off waiting around to pick him up. He'll soon get the hint.
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (22 October 2012):
 He's Taking you for a ride, he doesn't care about you at all, you are just his slave, you need to lay down the law, tell him your not taking it anymore, if he doesn't change his ways your gone
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