A
female
age
51-59,
RubyBirtle
writes:How to spot our regular troll(s)1) Our troll loves to give their characters names. Most of our genuine posters don't do this. They refer to "my boyfriend" or "my mother" or "my best friend" but our troll talks about "Tarnya" or "Brooke" or "Lupe and Sebastian" or some other ridiculous name. 2) Our troll often tells us what they do for a job (even though it adds nothing to the question) and frequently mentions how their job can't be done over Zoom. Delivery driver of hazardous chemicals seems to be a favourite of theirs but there's been a social worker before and some kind of events organiser. 3) Our troll often goes to great lengths explaining where they live... That they moved from Iowa to Idaho or from Toronto to Edmonton even though it is of absolutely no consequence. Knowing someone's country of origin is usually enough.4) Likewise our troll also likes to talk about their ethnicity too. They're rarely from one country but are Indian/American or Chinese/Argentinian or Japanese/Belgian. I often wander if they're a closet racist.5) They're almost certainly a closet homophobe. Their posts are frequently about same-sex relationships. Like camp lesbians who've taken illegal testosterone or Twink men suddenly wanting to become bears or chubs etc etc.6) Their fond of "bombshell" questions eg. "My partner's just run away with a go-go dancer" or a transgendered stripper or the anchor for their local news programme. Or their partner has just jacked in their high-paying job to work at Disney World or flip burgers at McDonalds.7) Which leads me to their next tell.... They love talking about junk food. McDonalds, McJob and McMansion are words frequently found in their posts. And many posts mention a partner who regularly guzzles litres and litres of fizzy drinks, and bucket loads Pringles, Doritos and M and M's so that the troll "worries about their health". There's mention of food-stained clothing and hand-written notes with greasy finger marks on.8) Which in turn leads me to the note-leaving that Troll's partner usually does. Sometimes it's a hand-written note, other times it's a text message or a tweet or a Facebook post or even a message emblazoned on a T-shirt but the message is usually derogatory and partly WRITTEN IN CAPITALS.9) And despite the derogatory messages Troll never seems to be genuinely upset or angry the way that most people would be. They sweetly wonder how hubby/wife's new partner will cope with picking up dirty socks or paying bills instead of being absolutely furious. Or they wonder how their kids are going to manage being brought up by an alcoholic prostitute that their partner has recently met online rather than saying "over my dead body".10) McTroll often mentions how little support they have (except a sister who lives in Vancouver who they can't see because of Covid). So chat to her over Skype or Zoom then - you might not be able to do your job over Zoom but you can talk to your sister. Troll often states that they can't talk to anyone about their problem because they're too embarrassed or "nobody would understand". Which is ridiculous... people don't have to be in the EXACT same situation to be able to empathise.11) Trolly has an underwear fetish. Many posts talk of husbans posing in pink thongs or passing nurses who flash their sports bras or wives in ill-fitting crop-tops complete with grease stains. 12) Trolly has pet cavies or, more recently, a pet cat. Perhaps the cat has eaten the cavies.... 13) Trolly NEVER follows up even when asked a direct question or when called out as a troll... they simply move on to post their next preposterous question.14)Watch this space... I'm sure I'll think of more and 13 is an unlucky number...I'm going to try a few Trolly posts myself! Ha
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alcoholic, best friend, facebook, lesbian, met online, move on, prostitute, stripper, text, underwear Reply to this Article
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female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (8 June 2022):
16) Trolly likes the word "humdrum" and occasionally the word "mundane". (Rather like his/her posts are becoming.)
17) Obsessed by Covid. I know it's something that affected everybody worldwide but Trolly has to weave Covid SOMEWHERE into their narrative.
18) Trolly is obsessed by politics and conspiracy theories. (What Trolly doesn't know it that I am the Walrus.)
A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (27 May 2022):
Apparently some of our posts are very similar in writing style because they have been ghostwritten. I've just received a PM from this ghostwriter who says that clients pay nearly $100 to have questions ghostwritten for them. I wonder if these clients think this is value for money?
Hmmm. The plot thickens....
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (25 April 2022):
14) Trolly is often very precise with dates. They met their partner in 2012, got engaged in 2015, married in 2019, got made redundant in 2020 etc etc... The year 2012 seems to hold special significance for them.
15) Trolly often describes his/her social status. "Not mega-rich and not mega-poor". Often going into detail about what cars they drive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2021): Thanks for the head's-up, RubyBirtle! I didn't realize, and may have avoided these particular posts; because they didn't trigger my interest. I only answer when I feel people are sincere; or the topic may be one many people can relate to, including myself.
I hope you're having a wonderful Holiday, I wish you a Happy New Year!
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