A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 (skipped 2 years of school, now a freshman in college), my teacher is 32. We're intellectual equals and he thinks i'm very smart and funny, and in class he singles me out and playfully banters with me in front of the others.. basically,i get special attention in front of everyone else and he knows he's being obvious about it. i can turn things in a few days late and not get in trouble for it... i can come to class 7 minutes late every day and he says hi as i walk in. he likes me as more than a student -- not necessarily sexually, but as someone who he enjoys being around.I find him very attractive -- his personality, his face, smile, body. I make excuses to be around him.. which isn't hard because he;s also my adviser (an academic/personal mentor assigned by the school to every student).How do I go about telling if he's sexually attracted to me? I feel like he would not make the first move because he's not supposed to be attracted to me, so I can't tell if he is.and if he isn't, then my making a move would very much hinder our pleasant, friendly adviser/advisee relationshipbut he's the type of guy who would definitely do it -- he's very attractive and was the prom king in high school and a tri-varsity athlete and wants to remain young (sits with kids during lunch, lets kids get away with things so that he's not perceived as a grumpy old authoritarian).how to show that i'm available/attracted to him/would not be put off if he made a move/willing to have a sexual relationship with him without unsettling our friendly relationship?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): excuse me who ever wrote the comment saying 'get off the computer and read a book' who the hell are you to tell this girl to get a life!! sounds like u need to get a grip and realise that now a days young girls are starting to date older men!!!!!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): Hi i don't know the answer to your question I am currently dealing with a crush on my priest. But I would suggest not to push the "class room antics" people will get pissed off. What are the laws regarding teacher/student relationships.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 When you talk to him , you get into a very close contact with him and sparks would fly and you offer no resistance to his touch or move away from him.
I am not sure if you are breaking any school regulations or jeopardies his career on the line.
In most countries , it is against regulations and he maybe booted out if found guilty .
When you have sex, it will change the equation. The friendship will not be the same again.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): Intellectual equal? The fact that you're even asking this question shows that you have a lot of maturing to do. Get off the computer and read a book. Or better yet, make some actual friends and get a life. That way you'll have better things to do than fantasize about 32 year old men who could go to jail just for looking at you. If you're really only 17, than the kind of man that would entertain a relationship with you isn't the kind of guy you want. But it's going to take another 10 years for you to figure that out. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Just ask him out for coffee to discuss some book, or invite him to a hip party. See if you guys have chemistry. Try to get him away from the teacher/student context, into a "person/person" context. If things do get sexual, then it's important to communicate and be in control.
Realize that, he's not above reproach, and it's possible that though he may be a great teacher, adviser, and all around flirt, he may not be the best lover or even have a high emotional IQ (e.g. he may lie, manipulate, etc.). Realize that he may be crappy in a real relationship and that this would affect your student/teacher relationship.
I wold suggest having a plan B ready if things go awry, like how you'd get another adviser, switch classes, etc. You don't want one relationship to jeopardize your entire education.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 February 2008):
 I would normally think that you are merely infatuated, like a school girl crush, but if you are about age 26 to 29, you should be beyond that. If you are indeed in that age range, and he is 32 and truly "available" then you are both mature enough for adult activity. You may be dealing with a "player" here and end up as nothing much more than his next sexual conquest, but if you want the action, and he is willing to run the risk, just give him some hot "come on" looks and see if he takes the bait.
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