A
male
age
,
*illy1
writes:Hi everyone, my wife and I have been married for 29 years and we never did bond real good when we first got married. We would party a lot for the first two years and then she got pregnant.When our first daugther was born I keep on staying out with my friends and partying sometimes at night and she stayed home.As time went on we got along good and had great sex and were a happy family. Sometimes well a lot of times when I get mad I will call her names and she was raised in an alcoholic home and it was phyiscal, a lot from her dad on her mom (dad beat mom) and that scared my wife a lot. So she does not like to be called names that hurts her a lot.And then I thought she had cheated on me at one time and I accused her a lot of that until I found out the truth about 9 months later so that put her through a lot also and she has told me that she has lost some of her feelings for me but is still in love with me.So my question is how do I get her passion (intimacy) back for me? You know worship the ground I walk on, yea thats it. (LOL) Thanks a lot in advance, God bless you all !!!
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female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (9 February 2011):
I don't think you can get her to "worship the ground you walk on"...why should she, after the way you have behaved for your ENTIRE MARRIAGE. The damage has been done.
she's already cheated on you. that means she thinks crap of you. Don't you get it?
even if you suddenly miraculously started treating her a lot better, you can't suddenly undo 29 years of mistreatment and the hurtful effects that has caused on her psyche. You can realistically expect some improvement in the relationship if you sustain positive changes. But it's too much to expect her to worship the ground you walk on, after 29 years of disrespecting her, no matter how much of an angel you may become now. Maybe if you were an angel for the next 29 years then she may start to worship the ground you walk on after that.
the fact that you even think you're entitled to this, shows your attitude is still entirely selfish. Since you're coming from this angle I don't think anything you do will get you what you want.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): I think you are the one who needs help on how to love and respect your wife...Still looking for a doormat? She has become stronger and you feel you have lost power to hurt her as much as you once could...You are lucky to still be married..Love begets love..Respect begets respect ...I hope your know you have to first SINCERELY 'worship the ground on which you wife walks' before she will have a renewed passion..And dont think you can just get her to 'worship the ground on which you walk' then go back to mistreating her..I can almost bet you have cheated on her too or came pretty darn close(I mean what was all that partying a lot without her about???).....Listen you have to start treating this woman well...She will hopefully respond to genuine love and affection..Goodluck
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