A
female
age
41-50,
*ucasama
writes:Ironically I've always tried to avoid these type of losers but I ended up falling for one who made his work rather well in making me fall in love with him. He has now discarded me for another one and he has even told in my face he never liked me but wanted the fun and that now he has the one he wanted.I feel terrible b/c its awful to be played like this and by the way he did things. He even took money from me and took advantage and I was such a fool of falling, I guess there's always a first time and for me the last one. I don't want to date anymore guys and I don't even feel like going out my self esteem is destroyed by him and I don't feel like anyone will want me or will trust someone again.Please give me advice as to what to do in order to regain my life all over again?
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money, move on, player, self esteem Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 April 2012):
 Learn from your mistakes. That is it.
To get closure on your past, you need to reach a point where you can forgive yourself. You forgive yourself by reaching a point where you can trust yourself not to make the same mistakes again. You learn not to make the same mistakes again by learning from them.
You are not responsible for the way you feel (about him or otherwise), but you ARE responsible for the choice you made to dating him. Take responsibility for it, and learn by what criteria you will decide to date someone new.
Not dating at all, will not fix the problem...it will only let the negative feelings linger and get worse. Do not close yourself off completely because of one bad experience. Turn it into a learning experience, and just be more choosy in who you decide to date.
-Frank
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 It is always hard to get over someone who broke your trust and left you feeling used. It takes time to rebuild your confidence again. Take some time out being single, go out and enjoy yourself with friends, have an innocent flirt but nothing more. Join classes or hobbies that you enjoy doing, it will allow you to do something creative which will give you confidence and also you could make new friends. It just takes time to get back on your feet. Sit down and write down goals on what you would like to achieve by certain dates and stick to it. Have something to aim for that shows you are improving.
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