A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HelloI'd just like to thank people in advance for the help.A month ago my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me. He had tried on several attempts over the course of about 2 or 3 weeks, and i'd been so upset at the thought of us breaking up that i pretty much begged him not to leave me. Eventually I just let him walk out of my life, because I didn't want to be with someone who didn't really want to be with me.The story is, 8 months ago we fell in love causing me to break up with my not-so-perfect boyfriend at the time to be with him. He had convinced me that he would do anything to make me happy, that he would protect me and treat me right. And for 7 months i really believed our relationship was perfect, I never saw a break up in our future. He would tell me he loved me and I knew he meant it, and we grew so attatched to one another. Obviously we had our ups and downs like every couple do, but in the end we had such an amazing connection.Everything changed about 2 months ago when he went on holiday, he came back a completely different person.He wasn't saying he loved me, and if he was it was 'luv ya' or 'much love', when before it was 'love you loads'. He tried to break up with me, saying he had been thinking alot about what's important for him and that he needs to focus on his future, (talent and career reasons). He told me i'd been too much of a distraction for him (I had done nothing wrong btw I simply fell in love with a boy who fell for me too).He was telling me i should be with someone who has time for me etc. But my argument was that I don't want to be with anyone else, and that i don't care about anyone else.Which is still how I feel.I let him break up with me, because over the few weeks he'd kept trying to end things he was being so horrible to me, he'd turned nasty.I didn't understand how he could have stopped loving me so quickly.Perhaps I was too much of an idiot to realize maybe he lied and never really loved me in the first place?Then i thought maybe he cheated on me on holiday, but he really didn't seem the kind to do that to me.. but then again I never thought i'd see his nasty side. Or maybe he just went away and simply didn't miss me at all and realised he would be a selfish twat and leave me on my own feeling like a numpty.I now absolutely hate him for what he did, but i'm still madly in love with him. A month since we broke up now and i feel i'm never ever going to get over him, but he's probably over me and i doubt he'll ever come back or at least apologise.It pains me to think about him, but i can't help it.I've never had this much trouble getting over someone before, probably because i've usually gone from relationship to relationship because none of them i really loved. Except this one. I had a love two or three years ago who also broke my heart. But this is 10 times more painful and difficult.It's worse because I don't want anybody else, and any possible relationships i could jump into i've said no because they simply aren't him.I either want to be by myself or with him, and it's clear i'm more likely going to be by myself.Then i think about how he never took me places, he was a coward a lot of the time, i was always 2nd best to him with regards to his 'talent'. He never introduced me to his family even though he was always round here, and i believe the reason was because they also knew i was holding him back.I hate feeling like it was so one sided the whole time, even though I used to feel like we both loved each other.I know i deserve so much better than him, but at the same time I know there's no one else out there who is him. It's him i saw myself with forever, marrying, having his kids. And now it's all gone.I also keep changing my mind at the moment, one minute i tell myself i'm fine i'm going to get over him and move on... and then i'm back to missing him and feeling sorry for myself.Ahhhh :(
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female
reader, bebang  +, writes (28 October 2009):
moving on my pass, is not an easy task that i would do. our relationship recently last October 26, 2009. its really hard to be in a positions that i have. my friends telling me that i can pass thru this heartaches i have. :(
our relationship start wen i was 4th year hs. wen my frend told me that his frend nid a txtmte, so he ask me kung okei lang na mging ktxt ko ang kaibigan nia. hndi namn ako tumangge kasi need ko din nmn ng isng experience. tapos aun, bingay nia ung frend nia. we started txting, corny talks.:) his nice namn sakin, and then gusto nia mkipagmeet sakin, so kinbhan ako first time ku mkpgmeet sa mga nkktxt ko.and suddenly ng nkta nia ko binola pako na ang cute ko daw. haha natouch nmn ako dun. hihi:)tapos isang gabi tnxt nia ko if pwede daw xa manligaw sakin. e nsa healing process paden ako nun that tym. his cool. he makes me laf always. we saw each ader sa mcdo, his frends like my frends also. sobrang bolero. nakkadala!
next time nalang ang iba ha?
naiiyak na kasi ako....
A
female
reader, crispap  +, writes (25 October 2009):
I know it's difficult. It took me 2 years to finally get over my ex, one to believe it's actually over. However we were together over 10 years. It should take much less for you, nonetheless it WILL happen eventually. You are so young! You will meet someone who will treat you 10 times better..You may not love him as much but he will make you realize that your ex didn't share the same love for you or was worth your love.It definitely helps to think of all the bad ways he's treated you. But just because he moved on doesn't mean he never cared for you or was in love. Its just that for men it is much easier to get bored with one woman and fall out of love. Once the passion is gone if a man doesn't truly love you usually he doesn't stick around unless no one else is willing to have him. The competition and temptation is too great out there.If you say he suddenly changed after a holiday then something is wrong there and why would he go on a holiday without you in the first place? Either he needed a holiday away from you because he was having doubts from before or he met with someone there who played a certain role in his changed behavior even if he didn't actually cheat. You may never know, but trust me it's not because of his career. Who doesn't want a woman in his life, career or no career, especially if she makes him happy?What I'm saying is that you shouldn't feel sorry for yourself because you did nothing wrong. You aren't the one who changed. If he can't love and appreciate you for who you are than maybe you just aren't meant to be. His family wasn't against you, they didn't even know you! Him not introducing you to them only means that either he wasn't ready to commit and didn't see a future with you or he had someone else on the side and was hiding you. You didn't mention his age..could it be possible even that he is married and perhaps that's why he considered you too much of a distraction and didn't have enough time for you?Be careful. Last time I dated a guy who told me the same crap, I found out too late that he had a wife!You have so much time ahead of you to love again. Forget about him. Move on and if it is meant to be he will come back some day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009): Im in the same situation i broke up with my bf aftr 11months i feel i stil love him but then i think of how bad he treatd me lik always cheatin on me and of with his friends and if we had somethin planned e wud bring his friends with him and leave me out bt in the end he broke up with me every1 said it was 4 the best i didn ink so coz i loved him!!!!Now i see him with his new girlfriend and im broken hearted but i have a new bf but i dont love him half as much :( the only thing that keeps me goin is thinkin of all the bad things he done 2 me :( i no how u feel hun but have u ever been with anyone else since?x
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