A
female
age
51-59,
*eginathomas
writes:How do you move on after 13 years... Its just hard.. but the part that is hard for me is the unknown, and being alone. I love my husband but im not inlove with him and do not like who he has become or the neglect he has shown me over the past 10 years.... I know this is the best thing but I just need to let go of the hurt and pain and fear.... any ideas.
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (6 March 2011):
 Facing the unknown after having been in a relationship is hard. The older you get the more frightening it seems, but it looks as if you have decided that striking out on your own is for the best.Thirteen years is a long time. You will not get over this overnight. It is a loss an the first thing you must do is grieve it. That is the first step in letting go. You may grienve the loss of your relationship, or the loss of the dream that didn't work out. Only you know what saddens you most about this situation. Loss hurts. People grieve, and then they move on. You will too.It will take some time and I know you are afraid. The only way to get over your fear is to face things and do them anyway. This is a time to be brave. There is a quote from Dicken's that I like, "The strongest steel must go through the fire." You will emerge from this a stronger woman.In the meantime, it is best to take action, even if you don't feel up to it. Contact old friends. Spend time with family members. Gather those around you that support you and help you feel better about yourself. Stay away from people who are negative or make you feel worse. be kind to yourself.Think about the things you use to love to do. Did you have some hobbies and interests before you married? Is there a way for you to get involved with them once again? I know you are not in the mood to engage in these things, as you are feeling down, but if you act first, the heart tends to follow. Try it and you will see what I mean.With time you will put this in the proper perspective. You will get over this and you will feel better.Hugs,TEM
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