A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my problem is pretty straightforward..There's a guy at my school who passed away about two years before I got there.I did not know him, I didn't even almost know him, but I find myself very attracted to him. Even though I've only seen pictures.I keep hearing about what an absolutely wonderful person he was, which doesn't really help.I find myself thinking about him a lot. I get a little depressed sometimes that I'll never get to meet him.I get all hot and flustered whenever he come up in conversation. Even if I just overhear it.This is so crazy. I know it's crazy. So what is going on here??? I even feel a little embarrassed typing this.All of my searches here or otherwise turn up results about celebrities that everyone adores, and those cases are understandable. But this is different because he is just a real normal person!How can I let someone go when there is nothing to let go of?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. And yes he died at 18 during a surgery.
I would not approach his family or friends as I feel this is a little stalkerish and I feel creepy enough just thinking about him so much.
You have all helped very much. :)
A
male
reader, BiteMe  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 At first this seemed like a rather unusual attraction but now that I think about it, not so much.You've seen pictures, and you like him,not to mention people though he was great. You wonder about him and what he was like a s a person, you want to know him and you developed a crush just like you would with anyone else, only problem is he's gone. To be honest, I'm not sure what to say at this point, all you can do is hope that it passes. Maybe if you're willing you can tell a friend and maybe they can try to deliver a piece of him into your life.If you really want maybe you can go to his parents house and find out about him more or find out who his friends were and get some fulfillment from them.All the best.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 I feel this way about Che Guevara (famous Cuban / Argentinian revolutionary). He died before I was even born. Yes, a lot of folks feel this way about celebrities. Elvis Presley is a prime example.
I remember once when I was a young girl just starting out university and I went to a friend's place and saw a photo of her father when he was a young man, and wow! I was instantly attracted. I had a solid crush on that photo for the weekend I spent at her place...lol...Was I insane? No. I was just a young, romantic girl with too much of an imagination. By the way, my friend's "up to date" father looked nothing like his younger photo. He had gained about 100 lbs, lost most of his hair and a few teeth. My crush instantly ended when I saw the real him.
My crush on Che still exists today:)
In a way this normal guy you have a crush on is like a minor celebrity at your school. If people still talk about him, he must have been quite popular...so what you're feeling is not crazy or weird. I'm sure there are other girls at your school who feel the same way.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's not as weird as you think. I think it's a normal part of growing up and figuring out what true love really is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2013): closer, and or just talking about it with someone who wont judge you, because if this is a seriuos as you say then you just need someone to lister to what you are saying. i had a crush on some one who was dead, but they are dead and not here any more they are no longer with us and that is sad but you just have to get over him and if that mean visiting his grave thhen do it. you need closer
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