A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,I'm really inexperienced in the whole male female dynamic kind of thing. I don't really know what's a sign of attraction from a girl.So I might as well tell you why I'm asking this.My friend's girlfriend, is like a really good friend of mine. We are complete retards when we hang out. A couple of days ago, I got a couple of friends together, to go watch a movie, including my friend and of course his girlfriend. But my friend couldn't make it so she just came by herself.So before the movie, we got lunch, and walked to the theatre. Like throughout the entire time, waiting, walking etc she was hugging me randomly.Then in the movie, she put her leg over mine.She said she was tired and stretching, but left it there for half the movie.Is she coming on to me? If she is, how do I say no?Please help, I suck at these things. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 She may be flirting with you, she may be just a touchy-feeling kind of person, she may be "territorial" and wanting to assert her connection with you.
REGARDLESS of the reason, if you are uncomfortable with it,speak up. You need to set up the boundaries and tell your friend to back up and not be so physically clingy because it makes you uncomfortable.
I would be asking her if she would act this way in front of your friend/her bf.
A
male
reader, idoneitagain +, writes (22 September 2011):
You say your friend's girlfriend is a really good friend of yours. It is ok for friends to hug and to be physically close, to put their legs on one another during a movie. However this is also how a girl would flirt with you if she was interested in you or if she liked you. It is also a way for a girl who is dating someone to test her limits, to see how far she can push her relationship. She might also be testing you, to see if you like her as more than a friend, or testing to see if you will cross a line, or whether she can trust you as a friend. In other words, these actions can be innocent, they can be flirting and they can be manipulation.
You don't need to know why she is doing it in order to respond appropriately. You can trust your own feelings, and act on those. If you felt comfortable, you would feel ok to treat them innocently for the time being. However, they have made you feel uncomfortable enough to post on this website. You aren't sure, and as a result, you should talkt to her to clear the air. You just need to know what you feel comfortable with and what you don't and then let her know.
For example, if you are ok with her behaviour as long as you know she means it all innocently, tell her that when she put her leg on your leg for half the movie, you weren't sure what that meant, but that you are ok with it as long as you know she just means it innocently and that she wasn't coming on to you.
If you felt like she was coming onto you and you didn't like it, tell her that. It can help to let her know you aren't accusing her of doing anything, you are just letting her know how you felt about it.
If you are going to be friends with girls, you have to be able to talk about this kind of thing.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 It sounds like she is flirting with you. I would tell her that you can't have her doing those things to you because you repect your friend and don't want him to get hurt over this. Tell her that is you both were single things would be different but she is with your friend and you are not willing to put stress on that relationship. If she won't stop then I would mention it to your friend so that he knows that you are a good guy and that you aren't trying to mess with his gf.
When you tell her it may ease her feelings if you compliment her first then explain things to her as long as you still make it clear that things have to stop.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): It certainly sounds like she's coming on to you. Unfortunately, the movie theater situation is long over, so we can't go back in time and fix that.
However, in the future, simply remove her leg from yours, don't return hugs and be cordial. If she is confused about what's up, tell her, privately, that you don't appreciate how much she seems to cling to you or like touching you, and it makes you uncomfortable because she's your friend's girlfriend.
It might hurt her feelings, sure, but you aren't going to jeopardize your friendship with your friend just so she can shamelessly flirt in his absence.
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