A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am in love with my boyfriend. It feels weird every time I call him that because it's so much more than just that. He's my best friend and the father to our child and a great one at that. He works a full time job to sustain our little family and I stay home to manage it. I've known him for 8 years and been in love with him pretty much from day 1. All relationships have up and downs I've been in a couple serious relationships and this is the smoothest and most dramatic but I believe that comes with the level that we've invested emotionally into eachother. I definitley don't want to break this family apart. However, I'm extremely attracted in his best friend. Ive never before dealt with this all my ex boyfriends had the worst friends. He is my boyfriends best friend and we see him almost everyday. We have shaky plans to move in together in around 3 months. They're only shaky on his part because of financial stability. I've thought that he was attractive since I met him 3 years ago but thought he was also an annoying little douche at the time. Over time I've gotten to know him a lot better and he's matured quite a bit. He is very emotionally reserved with the whole I don't give a shit about anything attitude. When were around a lot of people he is always the one that I'm talking to, just because we really click. When were drunk its worse.. I have to stop myself from excessively staring or flirting. About 2 months ago I got too drunk and made it obvious in front of a lot of our friends so I just told him that I had a small crush on him the next morning. Downplaying it a little bit honestly. All he said was that he could kind of tell and it was quickly dropped. It was awkward for maybe a week and then everything went back to normal, like it never even happened. To me that just says he's not interested drop it and move on. I understand that yet I can't bring myself to just get over it. Every time I see him it just all comes back. I have no idea how to stop feeling this way.
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female
reader, EnvyLawliet  +, writes (8 December 2016):
May be hard and you won't want to do this but. Really try and focus on his flaws, Every one has flaws and really focus on them. Even something small can work. These things happen simply because we are overly hormonal creatures. If you try and think of his negative points it will pass. This worked for me on a crush I had for 3 years. So it does work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2016): Nobody has replied because your situation should be easy to resolve: not only do you love your guy, 8 years, you have a child, are best friends and he is a good man & boyfriend providing for your family.
The best friend seems to be keeping the bro code in tact so all that's left is YOU.
You need to realize, just as this best friend is attractive, there will be many more attractive guys out there but are you committed to your guy and will you stay the course or are you going to waver every time and use alcohol and other excuses?
Don't make your boyfriend regret he chose you. Don't be that girl that can't be true. Focus more on YOUR GUY and less or not at all on his best friend. Also, if you want a happy future he should not move in for OBVIOUS reasons.
Be kind to yourself and your man or move on first before you go down the road you can't return from.
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