A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSmithee
writes:Ive just bumped into my first love in town.Im so upset :(We didnt end on good or bad terms, i cant be bothered to go into it , its complicated. But hes never been mean to me or anything. so its not like i can even hate him for hurting me. We broke contact before christmas because i cant see him as a friend, and ive just dreaded this day forever. I seen him sitting in town and all we did is wave as i walked past. Then i seen him walking through the shop were we met but he didnt see me :(Its so horrible when friends become strangers, all the good times, and like hes the first person i slept with and ir all comes down to a 'wave'.I feel like i really like him again , i dont want to.Has anyone been in this situation.. i could do with some peoples stories, and does this mean im back at square 1?
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reader, PrincessSmithee +, writes (4 March 2009):
PrincessSmithee is verified as being by the original poster of the question wow thankyou, that answer was really supportive and deatiled. Me and him are speaking again now, he added me on facebook and i just like quickly pressed appect. i dont know why.But we spoke for a while and its ok ,it feels sort of wierd, it hurts a little bit but .. i dunno its ok lol :)I guess its better than being strangers.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Well first loves are difficult. How the relationship is dealt with might influence how you look at your future relationships. I don't know if the breakup was mutual but if you have any doubts or questions about the breakup then you need to get them answered to move on.
I remember my first love. I was 14 and he was 16. He was my best friend and everyone envied the closeness we had together. I never would have thought it would have ended like it did. The last month and a half he became very distant. I kept asking him what was wrong and he would always tell me everything was fine. One day I said what we were going through was nonsense and that he needed to be honest with me. He told me that he needed time to deal with some personal things going on in his life (he didn't say what) but told me that I was the only person he wanted to be with. About 2 1/2 weeks later after we broke up he was near my locker making out with a friend of mine.
I was really destroyed over the whole thing. For a couple of years after when I would see him it would still hurt. I missed my best friend and I didn't understand what happened to the great relationship we had. After a couple of years I finally approached him and he told me that we were too serious and that it scared him. He felt that it couldn't go any further because he was afraid of getting hurt. He told me that my friend had been trying to seduce him for months and that he finally gave in to dating her but never slept with her.
The talk we had gave me a little peace but it is always hard to lose your first love. You are at an age where everything is new and exciting and your emotions and heart are very fragile. It will get better with time but it does take time to heal. Eventually you will reflect on the experience with him and realize that it was never meant to last, that you were both young, and unable to commit to anything long term. You will then continue to live your life and one day meet someone else when you are more mature. You will have had more experience by then and no how to better deal with the opposite sex and relationships. Just give yourself time.
And when you see him, it is okay to say hello. Try not to over dramatize it . Saying hello will make it seem less dramatic and thus easier for you to get over.
Good luck.
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