A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this is so long, but I feel like I need to give the backstory and time progression of my last break-up. I'm really confused with my ex and his feelings towards me. Here's what happened: we broke up about 6 months ago. We were only together for 4 months. I told him I loved him after 3 months and it was all downhill after that. He got really distant with me and eventually he told me that "we argued too much and he didn't want a committed relationship where we're saying 'I love you' all the time." So he broke up with me. When we broke up he said that he still wanted to be friends, like talk and hang out and stuff. I said that I wasn't sure if I could be still friends with him (cause I still had feelings for him) and when I said that he got mad and thought I would rather never talk to him again than be his friend. So I gave in and agreed to stay friends. We texted non-stop the first couple days after the break-up. Then he would never text me first, but would always respond if I texted him. We would make plans to hang out or do something and he would always cancel last minute. Then one day, about early March, I get on Facebook and see that he asked out his ex-gf from 2 years ago that broke up with him. That was the last straw for me, I couldn't handle just being his friend. So we got in a nasty argument over it, then I deleted him from Facebook and deleted his number from my phone.So April comes and one of our mutual friends keeps inviting me to go to his parties every weekend. I knew my ex would be there so I didn't want it to be awkward. So then I decided that I would try to be friends with him again (thought I was over him) so I could see our mutual friends and if I had to run into him it wouldn't be as awkward (hopefully?). Also, I've never stayed friends with an ex before, so I figured I'd try to be the bigger person and stay friends this time. So I sent him a friend request on Facebook and he accepted. After we were Facebook friends, he started "liking" my pictures and statuses which is something he never did when we were together, so I thought that was kind of strange.. But I sent him like 1 or 2 messages on there just asking how he's been and he never responded to them. So I just started ignoring him again. (late April/early May)So then my birthday comes (early June) and he tells me happy birthday and everything. And then a couple days after that he sends me a message on Facebook saying that he "forgot my number..." I ignored it to see if he would try to contact me again. So one night like 2 weeks ago I was on Facebook chat and he sent me a chat just asking how I've been. We had a nice little chat and just talked/joked like normal. The whole week we sent messages back and forth. So I gave him my number just to see if he'd txt me. And he did. But I deleted my Facebook (personal reasons) so we don't message on there anymore. And now the only time he'll initiate a text is when he's drunk and he tells me how bad he wants me like sexually and that he wants naked pictures. I haven't tried initiating a conversation with him during the day because idk what hours he works now and I don't want to bother him. (He used to complain that I texted him too much)So I just don't know haha. I don't know if he's just looking to see if I'll hook up with him or if he actually wants to get back together. I'm awful at figuring things like that out. Should I be straight-forward with him and ask him?? Or would that put him off? Oh and the girl he asked out ended up turning him down, so he hasn't dated anybody since the break-up and neither have I. We have both changed a lot since the break-up and I think it's for the better. I think if he were to give me a 2nd chance we could make it work this time. What should I do to make my chances of getting him back (as a bf, not a hookup) better?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): It seems to me he only wants a late night hook up when he's drunk. He's not worth it.
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