How to get my ex back from him - long distance relationship?

A male age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and my ex were (are) in a distance relationship. I visited her twice and was planning on visiting her again this June. Whenever I visited her, we always have so wonderful times. We both enjoyed our time walking together everyday, going to the park or downtown, dancing, singing together, etc. I took her shopping and bought her a lot of gifts and roses, wrote her love notes every month, love poems, draw her and us. Even when I was miles apart, I still bought her gifts regularly and she loved it. After a year together, we had been having our up and down moments but we were improving a lot. I used to hurt her a lot and I had a lot of negative things but she told me I was the sweetest person she had ever met and I was always there for her. Just last week she had to stay home because she was sick and I was the only person who was there for her, stayed up for her all night and she said she needed me, she was obsessed with me and she wanted nobody else on earth but me. Just yesterday morning, she called me to say good morning and we were happily talking on the phone. But then in the evening, one of the guy in her class gave her a rose and took her out for shopping and took her to the park and they danced together. She never had feelings or thought about him until then. She didn't tell me about him and talked to me just as happily as ever until later at night, he called, and that was how I found out. I was so heart broken and I couldn't do nothing else but to beg her to stay and I know it was the wrong move. According to her, he is 26 (she's 17),tall, romantic, educated and just whatever a girl would dream of. I love her so much and I can't, just can't lose her... I'm blaming myself now that I wasn't treating her right lately because I was sort of an obsessive lover. She told me she wanted to be free because she was young and she wanted someone beside her. I know she still loves me because she said so, she still talks to me, just not as much, she just wants to be with the other guy and that just breaks my heart even more. Last night, after chatting with him on yahoo messenger for a long time, she let me watch her sleep on the cam all night just how she always did when we were together. But the painful thing is she also let me see how happy she was with the other guy and that guy treated her just the same as me and re reacted the same, too! He would say something I would say and she would give him the same smile and laughter. Just this morning, she called me to say good morning and we stayed on the phone for half an hour though she did mention him and what she would do with him today with a very happy tone, then she fell asleep so peacefully after I told her she could fall asleep on my shoulder. I miss her so much and the only thing I want to do right now is to hold her tight and kiss her and make her realize she loves me more but I can't do that. What am I supposed to do? My opponent is so strong, especially when he's there with her and I'm here.... across the other side of the U.S. I just want to have her back. Before this happened, she was planning on moving to Seattle with me and close our distance relationship. She was so excited about it and now she said she wouldn't want to go anywhere with me anymore. What can I do now? Please help!!! And please don't give me a "get over her" answer because I cannot do that...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010):

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