A
female
age
36-40,
*ia10july
writes:I have been talking to a guy since the past five months. He's a wonderful person and extremely decent. We both met through common friends and my friend gave my number to him since I am single and he’s also single so we both exchanged numbers. Till now we both are friends. We both like each other like crazy. He told me everything about his ex-gf the second month itself.. he says they both are now friends. It's been 3 years of his break up with her, they are still in contact with each other and talk to each other on a daily basis… (what kinda break up is this?*anxious*) and I am really jealous. Now his ex came over to her place last to last month, he told me that also. A few days back I met him and I saw a few pictures of both of them in his phone, which he told me that when she had come to her place they had clicked them. I got so damn jealous and irritated but maintained my cool…(He also said that my ex is so SWEET and all, why does he say all this??? Either to make me jealous or what? but if he will say all this he should know the consequences also..He knows he wants to be with me) but all these things related to his ex confuses me like hell. Now I am very confused as to whether I should go out with him or not because I don’t know whether he is over his ex or not because it does not seem that he will stop talking to his ex-gf if we both start dating. I love him a lot intrinsically he also knows that. Ii'ts realy hard for me to kick him out of my life, and he also loves me, we both know that. Now I don’t understand if he wants to date me then why the hell does he need to mention his ex so many times and all that which I mentioned above and whether he will change after we date or not I don’t know since I am a very simple and innocent girl I don’t understand how to put this thing in front of him…(If for instance I date him whether I should ask all this after dating? or should I ask him now as in right now we are friends so should I ask him now?) or whether I should stop talking to him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (6 May 2009):
 You should talk to him using a conversation structure. Tell him what you have noticed, how it makes you feel and what the two of you can do to stop it happening. The conversation should go like this... I've noticed you talk about your ex very often and you have pics on your phone....it makes me feel jealous and inadequet and we can stop this by limiting the time you spend with her. I can understand his situation as I am very good friends with my ex's, I would never cheat on my current boyfriend with them, but still he is insecure. I limit the amount of time I spend with them and I don't talk about them. I also understand how you feel because I would break up with my boyfriend if he saw any of his ex's. I know it sounds like one rule for me and another for him but we are different people, I can't handle the things that he can, he never gets jealous. You have to find a point which you can handle and then discuss this with your boyfriend.x
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