A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm not particularly handsome either and I am obese. I will be visiting an escort in a few weeks to lose my virginity. Finally I'll get to feel what intimacy is like. However I've been thinking about what happens if I am able to have a relationship with a woman and more than likely she will be more experienced than me. I'll never be on her level, and I'll never be enough to sexually please her.I want to know how do you deal with a partner more sexually experienced than you?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (19 November 2017):
 Also, in the nicest possible way, I think you need therapy to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Most women would rather date a virgin who wants to learn, than someone who paid for sex.
YOUR VIRGINITY IS NOT THE PROBLEM. An escort will not teach you about intimacy; she'll show you real-life porn, not what sex with a girlfriend is like. No woman is the same - they all get turned on by different things and will be happy to show you how to do it, but the desperation regarding your virginity will put them off, even if you paid an escort to have sex with you.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 November 2017):
OP, the escort won't help you. Do it if you want, but it's like a drug - the high wears off. You'll realise your virginity isn't what's holding you back. You're not suddenly going to get a girlfriend because you've had sex once, with someone who had to be paid for it. You won't learn anything from it either, as she's paid to get you off, not be realistic.
I hope you wise up and don't pay for an escort, as your attitude is holding you back, not your virginity.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): Like someone else mentioned, once you have a gf and have sex regularly, if will become second nature. It’s like that everyone just at different times. When my bf and I started dating, we were both 26 and he was a virgin. It didn’t matter to me plus he learned pretty quickly what I like and what he likes. Every relationship is different and everyone has a different preference. There’s no one size fits all technique for sex! So it doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin or not because as long as you’re with someone new, you have to relearn.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Having more sex partners could, in many instances, mean that you are less good. You shouldn't worry about how many she has had. That means nothing because lot of them could have been duds and a waste. Focus on her and seek to please her, and your reward will follow.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): Why not! If you want to know what it is all about and yes tell her it is your first time although she will know it as soon as you touch her. Don't worry though probably she will like the novelty.But you must also know that you will feel very disappointed afterwards. So, why do you take such dim view of yourself? You can work on your looks and your personality and immensely improve your chances with the opposite sex. There are so many resources dealing with this subject such as books, clubs, discussion groups etc etc. First you must believe in yourself and have the confidence and the will power to embark on a program to improve your looks and personality. You must stop thinking oh I am too fat and ugly so no girl would want me and start thinking that I am going to do what it takes to turn myself around and make myself attractive to women. You can as a start get rid of your extra pounds by dieting and sports so that is one huge obstacle removed from your path. once you have lost the extra pounds find your style in dressing, hair style and most important take good care of your teeth and personal hygiene. The smile is very important for first impressions. NOW what women like in their men? they like their men to be career men, to have a good job and be smart and successful at it. They like their men to radiate confidence. They like their men to be interesting to talk to and to have hobbies or passions to talk about for hours and hours, and ofcourse they like their men to be gallant, kind, decent, truthful etc etc..The good news is you can be all these by learning. Believe me once you acquire these you don't need to look like a Greek God to attract women.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Believe me visiting an escort will not teach you anything about intimacy, because all she will be doing is her job for a price tag. If being obese is making you uncomfortable then why not change that? Get more active and eat more healthy, am sure there are groups around you that can help. The more you become healthier the more confidence you will gain.
Off course you will be able to have a relationship in the future but for now focus on you and getting yourself healthier. When the time comes, experience won't matter because every women looks for different things from a relationship and sex. Therefore talk to her and ask her what she wants and the more you practice the more you learn what she likes. Remember nobody will be able to tell you are a virgin even if you are nervous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2017): Many woman like fit tonned men but equally some of us like a chunky guy so please don't worry ... instead of going to a random prostitute why don't you try dating sites and go on some dates
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 November 2017):
 Having had more partners doesn't automatically means you are "better" at sex. Some people don't really WANT to "learn" or focus on their partner while others do.
What works for ONE woman may not work as well for the next - same with guys. Yes, the "basics" are the same, but each individual responds in their own way.
So what it comes down to is taking your time figuring out WHAT you partner like by verbal and visual cues and of course by TALKING about it.
Just... when you DO get a GF don't mention that you bought an escort for your first time. It's a huge turn off for most women.
And I have to say if you think the escort is going to teach you how to be a great lover... you are probably barking up the wrong tree.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (17 November 2017):
No worries. Believe me, you'll be a fast learner once you get a girlfriend with whom you can practice regularly. You just ask her what she'd like to do and have done to her. Communication is the key. Sex is not like basketball or some sport where time spent practicing has a direct correlation to performance. Her sexual satisfaction is linked to a myriad of things outside the bedroom, such as the quality your relationship, her love for you, her peace of mind, her confidence in herself, etc.
I am wondering - very curious, really - where your unmerited assumption regarding your inadequacies has come from. My first thought is that you've been watching porn in which the guy is forever banging the you know what out of the woman. Watching this stuff satisfies some guys. But it is also why not many women watch porn. Most women prefer an emotional connection first. If you're going to watch porn, watch some of the stuff put out by Girlfriends Films...this will at least give you a better idea of what lovemaking should look like.
I'm sure you'll be getting comments regarding your plans for engaging an escort for your first experience. I don't favor this, either. But if you're going to do it, you should know something about the person you're going to be with, and she should know it is going to be your first time. I hope you are not just picking someone just because she is the best looker for the least amount of money. You want someone who wants to make your first time special and will take the time necessary to do so. Most escorts probably treat their hook-ups equally - just another guy, just another very impersonal event. If you have the right person, you can talk with her about some of your attitudes about forever being inferior because of your partner being more experienced. I'd rather see you talking about this with a professional. But better with an escort than no one.
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