A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am really lost and confused. I have dated this guy for 1.5 years( 4 years ago!) We broke up because I gave him an ultimatum. We have talked maybe a total of 5 times after that. We were both dating other people and he sent me messages. (Small things like I should check out this place I would really love it or I heard that song it reminded me of you etc.) I got really mad at those because I was trying to move on but when he sent those it felt like I made no progress at all. In 2010, we stopped talking completely. I dated many guys after him. I even got engaged but broke it off because I just kept remembering my ex. After the engagement mistake I casually dated guys. I had short term boyfriends (3 months). All left me after 3 months. I do not know why. I feel like I have not fell in love since 2008 even though I tried. I actually liked the guys I have dated. They just didn't want me after sometime. Then I quit trying. I accepted that this is how my life will be. I changed my long term plans to be single. I have a lot going on for me. (You can think I am cocky but I have worked so hard. Just so that I won't think about him I learned to play the guitar, the keyboard, salsa, swing, draw. I got my master's in engineering and then my Phd.) I can't believe that such an easy thing became so hard for me. Anyways, finally this year I felt I was over him completely. Then, all of a sudden he likes a single photo of me. Something that probably meant nothing to him maybe even a slip of his hand. I took my chances and wished him a happy birthday a month after he liked my photo. (This is in December) It was my birthday a couple of days ago. He didn't wish me happy birthday. That's fine. It's better for me. It makes it easier for me to forget about him. Then the next day he likes another photo and here I am writing on a forum. I am so tired of this. I hate that he has such an effect on me. I told myself so many times that I mean nothing to him. But it's almost like a part of me is always waiting for him. I would be so free if he got married. I honestly want that so I can be free.I don't even remember how it felt to have someone love you back. I don't even understand why people are in relationships anymore. I have been to counseling. (several times) Maybe I am insane. Or maybe I am so stubborn that I can't accept the fact that he could leave me. Worse than this is his two close friends kept talking to me. They both asked me out. I know I just need to be patient but it's just been too long for me. I know that there are people in the world who never get to feel anything. There are people who are sick or handicapped and I should be just happy with what I have. But sometimes I just can't help feel sad. I can't talk to my friends because it is so embarrassing and desperate. I need help I just don't know where to turn to anymore. I apologize for the writing. I meant it to be more casual than formal.
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broke up, engaged, fell in love, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2013): Perhaps, in your mind, you haven't met anyone better. Sometimes you do meet a guy, and he's just that compatible and into you. I don't think you're crazy or insane.
Second, a loss is a loss. Even if you meet someone better, you'll have bad times too, and then you'll miss this guy.
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