A
male
age
30-35,
*an Boy
writes:Hi i need some information on how to approach a girl whilst in foreplay and to either give or recieve oral?? Because im too shy to ask for a blowjob and im scared to pull her pants down and give her orar due to she might freak out and run off or hit me. Also i would like some good suggestions or lines i could give my girlfriend to make her feel loved and safe with me whilst in foreplay before sex.Thanks
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blow-job, foreplay, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (21 November 2009):
 The anon poster on Nov 19, with all due respect, is totally clueless. Just as many men absolutely treasure applying oral satisfaction for their woman, many a woman equally enjoys pleasuring their man orally, even sometimes without reciprocation.
Some women just love doing it, and have for thousands of years. Besides, the "elixer of life" from a healthy man is quite harmless, nourishing, calming and healthy for a woman. Search seriously online if in doubt, but pay no attention to the porn references or sites.
A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (20 November 2009):
 Completely disagree with the anon poster aswell. I enjoy giving oral sex, and I'm female, well the last time I checked I was.
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A
male
reader, Man Boy +, writes (19 November 2009):
Man Boy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks people :)
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 I have to disagree with the last comment. Whilst that may be true in their experience, i have known several girls who have very enthusiastically enjoyed giving oral sex. And I'm 100% certain they weren't pretending to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): Women/Girls do not like giving oral sex to a guy, no matter what you've heard and despite what some might say just to please you or seem like they're cool. It's the most unromantic thing there is and it's uncomfortable and you feel like you're being exploited and used as in a porno film. Of course, you can ask her what she thinks of it but not putting any pressure on her when you do, so she doesn't think that you will be disappointed if she doesn't want to do it. It is really really horrible when you are having sex with a guy and he starts pushing your head down - it is so selfish and gross. please don't do that.
However, a girl may enjoy oral sex from you if you like doing it. You should give her a "head's up" no pun intended as a woman likes to be clean before your proceed.
anon
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (19 November 2009):
Personally, I feel if you're too shy to ask for it then you shouldn't be doing it.
You'll find that if you can openly and clearly talk about sex with your partner then you'll end up having much better sex, and both getting what you want.
I know how embarrassing and awkward it can be to talk about this stuff. But, with bravery it is possible. I suggest preparing to ask it ahead of time, and ask it not in the middle of sex, but at some other moment. Then just ask 'I would like you to give me a blow job some time, do you think you would like that? I would be happy to return the favour". If you can pluck up the courage to say it you'll probably find you get what you want very soon after ;)
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x +, writes (19 November 2009):
I agree with the initial answer. But I think I could provide some insight from a female point of view. You're certainly right to avoid simply "pulling her pants down" as you put it. When a guy does happen to do this, it can actually be horrifying if you're unprepared. I've had this happen in the past and I've simply not been ready to respond and sort of "froze", so yes, don't do that.
Generally, a good rule to follow is don't rush. Don't see the oral as a goal you have to reach, and take things slowly. Only go further when it feels right, and make sure you watch her reaction. Don't stare her out or anything of course, but make sure she's enjoying it before you move further.
For me, a perfect way for a guy to progress to oral sex would be to kiss his way there. If someone goes straight to oral, it can make a girl feel awkward in the sense that the rest of her body hasn't been appreciated. Take time to please every bit of her. The delay between will also give you and her chance to either change your minds or agree to go ahead.
As for getting oral sex from the girl in question, I should think that would be a little more awkward. It depends on the girl. Some find it a turn on to be asked for one, some just go for it, others wait until they've recieved oral first before proceeding. It varies. If you do give her oral sex, then you should be comfortable enough to talk about it, and if she enjoyed herself.. you could try asking her how she feels about giving oral - some girls simply do not like it.
Lastly, "lines" can be such a turn off, and it takes a particular type of guy to make them work, so I wouldn't even go there. What I will suggest is for you to just say what you think (providing it's positive), compliment her, ask her whether it feels good etc. Use a soft voice, maybe even whisper. You say you want to make her feel "safe", this is easily done, just ask her whether she's sure she wants to carry on. Tell her she can control the pace.. and make it obvious that you're willing to stop if she doesn't feel completely comfortable. But don't keep repeating it, only ask 2/3 times, more than that could give the impression that YOU don't want it to continue.
Laura x
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (19 November 2009):
Well I understand that the age of consent to sexual activity is 16 in the Isles, so I'll try to advise. Foreplay, as you say, usually includes a lot of kissing, fondling and that sort of thing, but may advance to such activities as sucking breasts and fingering a woman's vagina, among other things.
In my opinion, if a girl is obviously in agreement and enjoying all that, including allowing you to fondle her vulva and insert fingers, then you are well on your way to second or third base, as we say in America. But you generally do not jump from kissing to oral without touching all or most of the bases in between.
In my experience, I do not think that any "lines" are usually necessary. You simply progress through these various activities until the girl says, "Stop," or begins to say, "No." At which point, you should oblige.
But if she allows you to proceed a good while - fondling and fingering her vagina, she is possibly also by then fondling your erection as well. Apparently, her pants are already lowered or removed if you have progressed that far. Providing the two of you are comfortable and in a private locale, you would simply continue removing her clothes unless she objects. I don't think you need to say much, if anything, because she knows what you're doing.
But I usually go from kissing and suckling breasts, while also fingering or fondling her privates, then sliding down while kissing her torso (belly), then keep moving downward unless I get a "stop sign."
Next thing you know, you may be licking her clitoris and other parts, assuming she would like you to do that. And if she wants to return the favor, she will either offer or simply do it.
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