A
male
age
30-35,
*resario2010
writes:Well there is this girl at school that i like and i dont really know how to approach her. I sat next to her in one of my classes and she did'nt mind it but i was nervous the entire time. i actually couldnt believe i made such a proactive move towards her and i felt imparassed and since iam really shy i didnt know where that came from. Well anyways she didnt mind that i sat next to her, she actually started glancing at me and i caught her staring at me when i wasnt looking and i know she likes me because i hear her talking about me all the time.She is kind of a shy person so when i got the courage to talk to her about an assignment she kind off prushed me off. Whe had this other class together and i didnt sit next to her, i actually sat pretty far away from her but she still kept on looking at me and i just don't know what to say, i want to go out with her but i dont want to be too agressive. i actually talked to some of my friends and they told me to just ask her out when she is all alone or when i see her. i really dont think that girls realy like to be asked out on the spot like that but that is just me, keep in mind that we are both shy so try not to make such a demanding proposal for a date for me.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Just don't make a big thing of it.
See, girls like attention, and like being asked out. What they don't like is pressure. Act like it's no big deal - because, really, it isn't.
Don't apologize for it, either - nothing like, "Sorry, this is out of the blue, but..." You're not insulting her, you're asking her out. *She* should be flattered, not annoyed. And if she doesn't want to go, oh well, that's life, move on.
Just a simple, "Hey, [name of chick], what are you doing wednesday evening?" If she's interested, she'll say "nothing." Tell her, "We should get coffee, go for a walk." This is a statement, not a question or a request. If she doesn't want to go, she can say so, but it makes you look more confident to tell instead of asking. Chicks dig confidence, even the quiet kind.
If she answers instead with "Oh, my friends and I were going to have girls night," that's not a problem - yet. If she suggests another day, she wants to date you. If she does not suggest another day, it's a no-go, find another girl.
It's difficult, but it's not complicated.
Now, I like coffee dates because they're a good way to see if you two are compatible conversationalists, but coffee dates pretty much never lead to quick copulating. Try to kiss her about halfway through the walk, if you can (don't make excuses for why not, either), but don't expect more than that.
Most importantly, though, get past the frame of mind that "chicks don't like to be asked out on the spot" or "I don't want to be aggressive." It's better to move too fast than too slow - or not at all. Girls like attention, they like feeling desirable, and they like guys with the guts to make it seem like no big deal.
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