A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi Auntys and Uncles I really need your opinions advice on this..To put it simply I want your opinions on how soon into a relationship is too early to propose?The complicated bit is my divorce from my my ex is not yet final(will be in 5wks) and so will my boyfriends from his ex. I was married 10 yrs and my boyfriend 14yrs.BOth our exs are in new relationships too.My boyfriend and i have been seeing each other for four months now and have both implied that we would like to be together for ever.We are both in love so much.Hes wonderful,thoughtful,caring...omg!! He calls me perfect and that i am his heart and soul.I get on with his Kids,He adores mine and they all get on together!!(Miracle or what!!)we both have financial matters to sort out so there would be no moving in together for a while but i am contemplating proposing next week on our holiday together.It doesnt mean that i expect us to marry straight away...just to let Him and the world know just how much i love him and never want to be apart from him.or do you think i should wait?? how soon is too soon?thanks all
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Now I understand why you wanted to get engaged; you need the reassurance that he loves you too. I think with that realization, you can sit back and enjoy the courtship and the budding relationship without stressing over a firm commitment at this point. Relax, and learn how to control your anxiety over being abandoned. If he's the right guy for you, he'll stick around and be with you for a long long time. It'll be even better because your finances will be sorted and things will be less complicated. You'll have cleared out the rubble of the old relationships and can build on a fresh new foundation.
Congratulations on your new love and your new life.
A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (26 February 2009):
 I'm sure that he will stay with you even if you aren't engaged! You seem like a nice person and I think he will count his blessings evryday. Good luck with your future together! I hope when the time is perfect and you do get engaged that you enjoy it! X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHanks I know really in my heart of hearts its too soon...otherwise why would I asked for advice? I guess with whats happened over the past with my ex cheating on me I m scared of losing my boyfriend and want him to commit to me asap..I have to learn that the sign of love is not necessarily a ring....Thanks again everyonexx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 February 2009):
Why not just tell him that you love him and hope you'll never be apart from him? This notion of having to get engaged to let the world know your feelings seems like it would be made by an insecure or immature person.
You're both technically still married, you've only known each other four months, what's the rush? Why are you so desperate to get engaged right now? Are you feeling panicky or worried about things?
I would wait until I had known him for a year at least. Then I would rather hope he did the romantic old-fashioned thing and asked ME to marry HIM. But that's just me; others might have different time tables.
It seems to me that no matter how blissful and wonderful the initial relationship is, it simply takes time to get to know someone really well. You need to see them go through all the stressors of life and see how they cope and how they deal with you and those around them. That all takes time, and actually clear eyes to really understand what you're observing.
So for some people, I think, they do this kind of learning AFTER the honeymoon, and then find they don't like what they see. If you push the honeymoon back a bit, it might save on divorce attorneys....
Wait. Learn patience. Love him. You'll be fine if you're not engaged right away.
Good luck, I hope everything works out for the best!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Wait till your divorce is settled!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 February 2009):
Woo! 4 MONTHS!!!
That is far far far far far too soon.
I mean technically you are still married to someone else!
I know you are in the first rush of love, and since you haven't felt that in 10 years, that has got to be pretty amazing.
But please please don't dash into everything at once. If you truly want to be together forever then why not spread these events out? Don't get the big romantic stuff all out the way in the first year.
Enjoy what you have right now for a while rather than waking up in 2 years time and realising there is nothing to look forward to.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (26 February 2009):
If you feel the time is right then go for it! Personally I would wait untill all financial matters are sorted out so that you can really enjoy it. Who knows, if you wait a while he may propose to you first! X
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (26 February 2009):
 Hmmm, I think that if thigs are going so well, then you should leave it all alone. Why fix what ain't broken?
Let your divorces finalize, and enjoy the relationship as it is. If things still feel really great, then it could be an appropriate time to propose when you both are ready to move in.
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