A
female
age
30-35,
*upcakefrosting28
writes:Hey so I posted last week about a relationship problem that ended in a break up. We dated for almost 2 years. I was just wondering when you think is the appropriate time to start dating again would be. I don't want to jump into anything too soon, but someone did ask me out on a date. My mom told me that no matter who I date after my ex would be a rebound so I don't have to wait for that long. I can't but feel a little guilty. Not to mention I feel so nervous about this date. I didn't say yes or no yet because I wasn't sure. My ex told me that if I ever wanted to go back to him I could. And I really don't want him to wait around for me. Right now I really don't see us getting back together right now..or at all (not unless things changed drastically). I just feel very torn.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 If you do not see a future with your ex well then the only thing that you can do is move forward. Yes it could be a rebound, but it does not always work like that, sometimes people fall in love with someone after coming out of a relationship and go on to have a happy future, so there is no point looking at it like that. At the end of the day you are single and entitled to do what you like. It is only one date so say yes and go out and have some fun. If it doesn't go well , at least you tried.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): (N.B. I've been looking for your previous post but haven't been able to find it for some reason, so my answer regarding your situation might seem incomplete... if that's the case, I apologise!) I think it varies from person to person, but I'd be inclined to give it between 6 months and a year - any sooner than that and I'd consider it a rebound. It depends on you though; how do you feel about your ex? Does any part of you still harbour hopes of getting back together? Do you feel that the end of your relationship has left a hole in your life? If so, you still haven't finished grieving.If you're feeling that nervous about the date, I wouldn't go. You mention you feel torn too; if you were truly ready to meet someone new I don't think it would be like that at all! It wouldn't be fair on you or the guy who asked you out to introduce yourselves to one another when you're by no means at your best. I believe you need more time to sort through your own thoughts and feelings first.If you honestly don't feel it'd be of any benefit to get back with your ex now or in the foreseeable future, I think you should tell him to let go once and for all. By leaving the possibility open of getting back together, you'll both be unable to move on. If I were you, I'd take a break from dating for a while - for as long as you need. For now, just concentrate on you. And fon't forget to turn to friends and family for support :) Good luck and take care x
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (18 December 2011):
 It depends on how you're feeling emotionally. If you believe that you're ready NOW to start dating again, then by all means, go ahead and start dating. And depending on the severity of breakup, I believe it's best anyway to start moving forward- and bouncing back from the breakup as soon as you can.
And I don't know how you two broke up, but I was once told there's a reason why your feet are facing forward... it's because you have to move forward in life- not backwards. In other words, leave your past behind... and start meeting and dating new people.
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