A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How much texting (of the opposite sex) is considered flirting or cheating when you are in an exclusive relationship? I got angry after discovering my bf has been texting other girls almost everyday. I asked to see his messages but he deleted them before I could see them. Is his behaviour suspicious?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 January 2015):
 Texting people A LOT is pretty typical for your generation, doesn't mean he is cheating, but it also doesn't mean it's all HARMLESS. Specially if he feels the needs to delete them so YOU can not see them.
And another typical think for your generation is to SIT right next to company (good or bad company) and TEXT. It's rude. It's a lack of social skills and manners in my book. You know, we went to my BIL's house for a few hours for New Years and my nieces (in their 20's)spend the ENTIRE time texting and post cap on Facebook via their phone. To me that so sad. They can't carry on a conversation, JUST for the same of either being polite or basic decency. All MY kids had gotten tablets for Christmas but had LEFT them at home because they KNOW I would not find it OK to go visit and then sit and be "anti-social" on some device.
And I have to agree if he is MORE busy texting OTHER girls then TALKING/INTERACTING with you, then he really isn't a keeper. Because YOU are "less" important to him then some random text.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 January 2015):
 Any texting in secret to other girls is too much unless you are allowed to see them to ensure they are simple "Hey what's up and stuff like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2015): Yes, it is very suspicious. The problem is, if there is no evidence, you can't do anything about "suspicions." Somehow you know it's other girls. How do you know?
Insist that shutoff his phone when he's with you!
First of all, it's too much texting to be "face-locked" to your phone while you're in the company of your boyfriend or girlfriend. You put your phone away while spending time together. Opening incoming texts and sending messages is rude, and a total intrusion! He can check his messages on his own time!!!
If there are girls sending him messages; they know he's with you, and they're purposely distracting him.
He does have a right to have friends regardless of gender; but if it was innocent, he wouldn't delete the messages.
A good relationship has trust and transparency. He might be playing you. If your gut-feeling is that this is the case, put your self-respect first. Don't let guys play you for a dummy. Guys don't respect females they consider stupid.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (1 January 2015):
Dear OP,
This is definitely suspicious. It may not be "technically" cheating in a sexual way, but a form of emotional cheating, because obviously he's not focused on you and he's hiding things from you. If those messages were just friendly, he could have shown you. Don't trust him.
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