A
female
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anonymous
writes:What are the age gaps between you and your partners?And at what stage do you think a age gap is too much?Thanks! x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): i had an affair with an 18yr old - im 38, it was a wonderful, exciting and memorable experience which i will always have fond memories of. i would have taken it further and could have seen us together in the future but he needed to have his youth and enjoy it all without any responsibilities so i had to let him go. its the hardest thing i eva had to do but it was for the best and i'll always luv him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): well the man i have a crush on is 32 almost 33 and i am 14 lol it sounds a bit wrong but i love him so i dont really care and im going to wait till im 16 or over to actually tell him.. if i do that is !
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A
female
reader, rachel_nextdoor +, writes (11 September 2006):
My previous two relationships involved what some people consider serious age gaps: eighteen and sixteen years, respectively. The age differences was never a problem, but I was always very aware of it. I think after the young partner passes the age-of-consent, any difference could potentially be overcome.
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A
female
reader, Roma +, writes (4 September 2006):
i agree to what most people have said.. age is merely a number.. when u fall in love u dont workout ur age gaps. true love just happens.. and u take each other for who u are..
if we start thinking wat will our older partners look or feel like when they are in their 60s and 70s? well the mind can over exaggerate.. thus so many people back out of age gapped relationships.but if true love is there then u love that person unconditionally..no matter wat.
in my experiance i prefer the age gap between me and my fiance. im 26 and hes 53 hes twice my age but god bless him..he acts no where near his age.. youthfull chilled, exciting brilliant sense of humour.. and most of all his trusting attitude. allowing me to enjoy life the way i want to..and not being possesive and controlling.i think becoz he is older than me he is wiser and maturer, and his trust in me.. thats the foundation of any relationship.
we share everything housework,cooking we do so much together its so perfect.im thankful to god weve met.u only live once.. so enjoy ur life while u can meet ur truelove and dont let age be a barrier.
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A
male
reader, jamezp36 +, writes (2 September 2006):
I think the older you get the further apart the age gap can be.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2006): i dont think it matters if you really love the person but i wouldnt go over about 11 years apart. Its your choice
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A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (16 August 2006):
 My friend is 46 and her husband of 2 years is 77. She cannot bear to be away from him for more than a couple of hours ... and she keeps him so he gets her tea ready. Trouble is, she often has the odd evening or weekend alone as he is off to the pub, down to the gym, or playing golf!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2006): Max age for a woman I've had an intimate relationship with was 33 when I was 25, youngest age was (excluding my first gf)... Haha, hey! I just realized that all of my past (except my first gf) had been older than me! Mmmm... 8]
Anyway, at 27, I would prefer someone around my age, say no more than 28, and no less than 22. That is a preference.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): Well im 21 and my partner is 47,age is just a number sweetheart that's all,the hardest thing is putting up with narrow minded people who say ooh that's disgusting-oooh that's wrong but you know love conquers all so it does not bother me at all,i love him and he loves me and that's all that matters,life is too short do whatever makes you happy.x
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A
female
reader, Serene Katy +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Just a point of view showing the other side of things. From personal experience, I think 18 years and over is too large a gap.
There is a huge difference in outlook. Maybe for the first years or even a decade it will be ok, but after that, the years tell with the older one. The older one regrets what they cannot do any more now they're reaching their 60s while the younger one is still comparatively youthful. A lot of people (particularly men) can be very set in their ways when over 50 years old, this could be difficult for a young person to live with. The younger one will, most likely disengage to find some company nearer their own age, or become old before their time.
Imagine the thrill of facing retirement parties and 60th birthdays (not to mention funerals) when you haven't even hit 40? It happened me. Also, people in a shop or garage referring to your "father" when he is your partner!!
It's probably better to stick within a decade or so if you want a long term, reasonably equal relationship.
My tuppence worth.
XXKatyXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): I'm going to quite confidently answer 80 years.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): 14 years between me and my partner age has never been a factor with our relationship.Aslong as you are happy that is all that counts.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (15 August 2006):
 There is a decade between me and my husband (I am older) and it doesn't present a problem to us! I think as long as both are adults and happy together then any age-gap is ok.
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A
female
reader, camille +, writes (15 August 2006):
 I am 10 years older than my boyfriend. There's no problem apart from children, we don't have any. I fear that when my baby years are over (very very soon), he may begin to want a family and leave. There's no guarantees in life anyway so the fact that we are in love and want to be together is the main driving force. We've been together 4 and a half years. I know he feels he missed some major things in my life which goes with the territory. I wouldn't swap it for anything in the world. I am hoping to be a youthful old lady when he's in his prime of life!
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (15 August 2006):
 I believe that whilst 2 people are adults, age really is a number. When my late grandma was 18, my late grandfather was 46 and he dies aged 95 in 1994 and my grandmother was born in 1927 so they were together for 49 years!!! And they were very happy. My dear if you are both happy and adults, there is no age gap limit. xXx
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (15 August 2006):
 I have a 13 year age gap between myself and my fiancee, we are very happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): My boyfriend and I have a 4 year age gap. I'm 18 and he's 22. We love eachother very much and the age gap has never been a problem to either of us.I agree with the first reader, no age gap is too big and it's better if your around the age of 18+ and you both respect eachother and accept that sometimes, you may want different things, especially if it's a very big age gap.But as long as you both love eachother, age dosen't matter, it's just a number!Take Care
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (15 August 2006):
 Me and my boyfriend have a 10 year age gap and we work fine. We are at different stages in our lives, he's in work and I'm still studying but we appreciate this and don't force each other into stuff. He wants kids and marriage but he knows he'll have to wait for me, and he is willing to do that.
I think any age gap is ok, as long as you both compromise and accept you're in different places in your life. As long as you're both over 18, I think go for whoever makes you happy.
If you'd like to talk, give me more details privately. Good luck
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