A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I was younger, my second cousin and I were involved in a physical relationship. When I was 11 and she was 10, we would play doctor and we also started making at that age. When we were older (I was 14 and she was 13), we started having sex. This lasted until she went away for college. Nobody knew about our physical relationship, they just knew us as close cousins that just did everything together. Since she went to college, we have called each other every week and e-mail each other everyday. I even got a P.O. Box so we can write love letters to each other. We would visit each other two times a year and we enjoyed each other company.I always knew she was my soul mate.She is finally moving back home. Both of us want to resume our relationship (both the romantic side and the physical side). But this time, we want our family to know that we are officially dating.How is the best way to tell them that we are dating? How much information about our past should they know?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2013):
 They don't need the details of the past.
If it's just the parents I think personal visits to them as a united couple is a good plan... if the parents are close then you can do all of them at once otherwise visit one set then go right to the other and tell them the same day.
No need to gather the entire family and make a huge announcement.
what you have is NOT illegal or considered incest in ANY state, but the family may still have some reactions to it. I would be prepared to address that as calmly as possible.
what will you guys do if the extended family and/or parents object?
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 November 2013):
 You haven't said that their reaction will dictate whether or not you date, so I'd just tell them the same way you'd tell them about any girl. I would not, however, tell them that you'd been having a physical relationship over the years. That's water under the bridge -- no matter how much they freak out about it, it won't change the past. It will very likely make it harder to accept the two of you as a couple in the present.
Depending where you live, your families may not be all that accepting. Parts of the U.S. have a particular hang up about cousins dating. If you're second cousins, your common blood ancestor is a great-grandparent. That's quite distant -- most people couldn't even identify a second cousin. Hope you don't get too much grief.
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