A
female
age
41-50,
*appilymarriedwife
writes:I have been with my husband since we were in high school and we both are extremely happily married. Our sex life is greatcoat nothing wild . He told me he would like to experiment a little but wants me to be 100% ok with it, (he's really respectful of me and doesn't want me to think he doesn't care / respect me) weDiscussed what we were willing to try and he said he wanted to be a little rough. So we did and I loved it. He talked dirty and j got extremely turned on. I honestly didn't think I would but I did. Sorry if this is TMI but I think it's needed to know what we did , he called me his "dirty slut" and "little whore and things like that and got kinda physically control me when I was doing oral on him. He asked me to talk dirty to him and I froze, I had no idea what to say to him. He never asked for much during sex and since I know how much I got turned on I want to do it for him. What kind of things do guys want to hear ??? Then last night he fingered me anally during sex (again I apologize if that's racey and I LOVED it , like best orgasim ever). I am very tight there but would love to try anal how do I bring that up to him and how much does it honestly hurt?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (19 April 2016):
 Anal, as any sex, should NOT hurt! If it hurts you stop. The trick to doing anal is that you use a lot of lube and go sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.
I can not emphasize enough how sloooooooooooooow you need to go. Like, so slow you don't even know if you've moved or not for the last 5 minutes. Unless you're used to it and comfortable going faster, I would say that just the entering process can take up to 15 minutes. And then he needs to move slowly as well, but once it's in the tough part is over. Because the anus will try to prevent anything from entering (naturally), so it is very easy to cause pain or damage your anus if he tries to enter too fast. So, you need to go slow and only move when relaxed. You should be the one controlling the tempo of this, not him. So a good way to go is laying on the side where you can move yourself towards him, rather than him trying to push into you.
As for dirty things to say to him, I dunno, experiment. That's the point. That you try out things you haven't done before. There is no such thing as "men like to be called". Men are not generic, the like individual things.
You can start of with something easy like using the word cock, and then take it from there. Use some swearing words. Add some degradation if you please, like he did on you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2016): Hi there! I'd start with saying I totally agree with the previous responder. Anal is fun and van be amazing, when enjoyed by both people.
Experimentation is brilliant and can not only liven up your sex life, but your whole relationship.
As for what you should say to him in the bedroom, whatever comes to mind and feels right. If its too much he'll likely tell you but as a man, I can say a girl being talkative and frisky in the bedroom makes everything better.
As for anal, I'll agree with the other writer, you are in control. If you want to stop you both stop. I know you are enjoying him being demanding and dirty but when trying something new like that I would say, at least the first few times, let yourself decide what happens. Also, use lots of good quality lube. I personally like analyse me (you can get it on amazon). I'd also making sure you're horny first and trying smaller things (like a finger, then two, three)
Wish you the best of luck. He sounds like an amazing guy so I'm sure it'll go well.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 April 2016):
 OH good for you guys! I love it when a marriage is hot in the bedroom....
NOT all guys like the same thing so if you want to know what to say to him to turn him on ask him.... sounds like you are doing great already
as for anal.
it can be painful.
but with the right partner and patience for a committed couple where both partners are willing to experiment, it can be fun.
The best rules are this.
YOU are in charge.
be very relaxed and comfortable. ( a bit of wine or the like would be good)
now the details:
lie on your tummy
put a pillow under your tummy/hips
relax
have him behind you
both of you should lube up and a condom should be worn for health for him (he can get a nasty UTI without one)
let him just place his erect penis at the opening of your anus.
HE DOES NOT PUSH.
just rest there so you can feel it.
if that's all you want for day one that's fine.
next step is for YOU to push BACK into/onto him (note you are still laying on your stomach)
HE DOES NOT MOVE. YOU are in charge
then stop. it should not be pain. it SHOULD be pressure.
DO NOT MOVE until you feel ready.
IF this is all you can do on day one you've done great.
each time do it the same way. after a push back onto him where you feel comfortable you push a bit more... not a lot....
this is how I was taught and I can tell you that it was not horrid. It was not my preferred sexual activity but I had no issues with it once I learned this proper method.
Big HUGE rule... NO genital play after anal until you both wash up well.. hands and genitals...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2016): Use lots of lube and relax. That's the way to go with anal!
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