A
female
age
36-40,
*tarburstGrin
writes:How much communication with your significant other is enough? My boyfriend of three years goes to law school at night and I work all day and so during the week we hardly talk. I tried calling him during the week but he just sounds stressed out from school and that makes me sad. I usually only get a "goodnight I love you" text at night from him anymore. We see each other on the weekends, which I reserve for him because I miss him so much but we don't get to hang out if he has made plans with his friends. I know he never gets to see them too, but I feel like ever since we graduated from undergrad we don't communicate as much and him being a total dude feels like we are fine, but when I talk to him about how I feel and how I need quality time with him he takes it personally and gets defensive and says things like "that really hurts my feelings when you say that because I want you to be happy and I feel like there isn't anything else I can do to make you happy".I love him and I know he loves me so I would hate for this one thing to ruin us, but I don't know how to fix or approach it without offending him... What would you say? Thanks!!!
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female
reader, Gridrebel +, writes (24 May 2010):
 You have a need for more communication than he does. The schedules you have definitely take a toll on a relationship. He needs his friends and the kind of life he is trying to live. I am confused though, why can't he combine you with his friends? He and you could have your cake and eat it too. Might be a good idea to read a few books such as "men are from mars women are from venus" just to get your head around why he sometimes behaves the way he does. Also, you are not getting your needs met by him so you have two choices, meet them in your own way such as other friends etc., or get a new man. There is nothing wrong with admitting to each other that although there are feelings of attraction and love, sometimes they aren't enough to bind and bond a particular relationship.
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