A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my bf and then told him about it a week later. We're still together and trying to work things through and for the most part we're better than ever. However he has to be with me everywhere I go, and if he's not there I have to ring him constantly and we argue once I've come back because he doesn't want to touch meand wants to know exactly where I've been and what I've been doing. I know I brought this on myself but I feel really trapped and it's making me stressed being with him 24/7 as I have no Me time. How long will it take until he trusts me again and is there anything I can do to help the situation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): Try not to beat yourself up over this, and don't let him make you feel worse than you already are. We all make mistakes, and it is about learning from them, rather than keep going round in circles about the past. Allow him to have his say, to tell you how bad he feels, but you and him both need to be able to draw a line through this and move on from it.
How emotionally mature is your boyfriend? That is what this comes down to. If he has experience with relationships, love and women and can deal with emotional problems well then there is no reason why you both won't get through this and perhaps even become a stronger couple.
But you need to be prepared that things could also get a lot worse because most relationships do not recover from someone cheating - especially at your age.
You may need to be the mature one in this. There is no doubt that he loved you, but is his love turning to resentment, bitterness and distrust? It is natural that he may not trust you for a while, but there are also signs, such as not wanting to touch you and never allowing you out of your sight that need to eventually stop for the relationship to move on.
There is no set time limit for these things to fix themselves, but I think maybe you should see how things are in a few months and if things haven't improved or have stayed the same then reconsider whether things ever will recover from what happened.
I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be for the best.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (20 August 2008):
 he may or may not trust you ever againg but as you said you know you have brought this on yourself! you have to comfort him and tell him it wont happen again and you have learnt your mistake and that you will do whatever it takes to please him, but at the end of the day you want sometime for yourself without being checked upon.. you need to talk with him but at the end of the day he has a right not to trust you because of what you did and now your paying the price so talk to him about it but dont hold your breathe about it going away quickly but it will take time if he will trust you.. good luck aphex xx
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