A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was in a realtionship for 18 years, my partner left me for another man with very little explanation. It's been a few years now since she left, I just wanted to know how long it would take to move on from her and would she have had any guilt. I have been on a few dates but nothing serious has materialised.
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female
reader, *Gem_UK* +, writes (20 August 2010):
Hi,
Seperating is a horrible experience for anyone but it also hits people in different ways. Some it takes days, weeks to get over it, others years. You need to get over this in your own way and in your own time, keep yourself busy and try not to dwell on the past or think about your life together to much.
It's great your going on dates and trying to move on as im sure that the whole experience may have knocked your confidence so you are definitley heading in the right direction but try not to compare these people to your ex. Remember to try and work on yourself first, get through your issues, be happy in yourself before you start looking for that next special person. It sounds cheesy but time is a healer and it will get easier and you will get over it.
Hope this has helped.
All luck for the future, take care of yourself.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (20 August 2010):
 Hi,
I understand how low you must feel over this, but the other Aunt is right, you will never move on because your still living in the past.
Who cares if she regrets it or not? start thinking about yourself, and give somebody else the chance to make you happy. If you dont stop moping around, you will never find true love. Get out there! join some clubs..go and learn to dance...anything that will make you wake up and realise your still alive!
Take care
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): It's been a few years now, you need to force yourself to stop wondering about what she is thinking and feeling. The dates you been have on are never really going to go anywhere, while you are still thinking of your ex.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Everyone has got their own healing time. Its not important if she feels guilty or not,its about you now know her capabilities and would you be crazy enough to take her back? She has done it after all your years together,which should tell you how it was built on her pretence, she is better off where she is.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Hi friend,
i think you must go deeper in order to move on...
usualy, leaving without much explenation means she cheated for a period.. can it be?
try to think about youre life together, were you much at work? did you give her enough attention? did you have sex the months before it happend? did she tried to work things out with you?
something was missing. no one will leave a long relationship just for no reson.
usualy, the reson, is both of you.. and mostly you.
some times we men forgets to show our love. and sometimes worse, forget to take back love from the partner.
dont waste your time hoping shes regretful and missing you a lot.
stand up and start doing things YOU like.
if its possible you might consider moving to another place. it will help. im not saying cross the states. a new house even 30 minuts away that wont remind you of her will do good.
are there any kids involved?
(in any case, this feedback is for you, not anyone else. do what makes you feel good, for doing it, first admit you feel very bad)
i guess you got my point, i wish you luck man, dont let it brake you down. life is too short.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (20 August 2010):
How long do you want it to take before you move on? How much of your life do you want to spend thinking about this?
If your body hurts, you go to the doctor because you want the pain to stop. So the idea is...You do something to help yourself feel better.
You must be a good guy for her to stick around for 18 years. I am sure some lucky woman wouldn't mind have you for another 18.
You never go backwards to your ex, you move forward to someone new, fresh, and better than the one you had.
Learn from your pass, and make the next women wonder what heck was wrong with your ex to give up a guy like you.
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A
female
reader, Daneah  +, writes (20 August 2010):
18 years is a long time to be with someone and to let go of it all suddenly. I certainly can understand how difficult this must be for you to move forward. I do believe time is healing and this is a very personal period of time... it depends how you go about your healing process. You need to find someone you can talk too about the pain you are carrying. And hopefully your living in an area where you don't have to see her often or at all. Forigiving someone is another key to letting go. If you can forgive her for what she's done than you can let go and begin to move forward. You also may need to stop blaming yourself that she found another man. There is an old saying that it takes two to make or break a relationship. I believe this is true if your in a realtionship where both parties are together for all the right reasons but if both parties have bonded with another for the wrong reasons, than this makes this statement unfair and untrue. Obviously the one that in the relationship for the wrong reasons is making the other miserable and has no intentions of working at a relationship for unselfish reasons. Maybe you need to accept the fact that your realtionship may have been suffering for sometime and her leaving may be a blessing for you too. Not forgiving her or not forgiving yourself is going to hold back the ability for you to move forward. I think that's the key. Acceptance & forgiveness are so important in finding happiness in life. God Bless.
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