A
female
age
,
*ines
writes:Dear Cupid,I just ended a relationship for many reasons and our sexual connection was weak. Most of the time it was just straight sex. We had oral sex maybe every blue moon. When I was married I enjoyed oral sex very much and have missed it along with the whole fore play leading to sex. I am now out trying dating again which I do not like now that I am over fourty. I met a guy recently which I did not really care for but on our second date he gave me oral sex but I held back on him out of fear. He was very patient and said when I am ready he wants to go all the way and for me to give him pleasure as I received. My question is why do I feel such a strong desire for sex at this point from a man I barley know or any other.Can sex have that much weight on a relationship?I was told by one guy to slow down. How long should you wait before having sex if you are so weak for it?
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (15 February 2010):
If you are waiting then it means that you want something more than just sex from the person. Perhaps a relationship. If its just sex you are after and you don't mind if you never see him again then there is no waiting period. For a guy who you really want to keep seeing, I would say at least 3 months of dating him without sex would be appropriate to allow for an emotional connection to begin to develop.
You need to ask yourself if its really just sex you want or is it a physical connection to another person you miss. Or is it being desirable to a man knowing that you can get him excited about you; like a power trip. Whatever it is, most women are not able to have 'hit and run' sex, or cope with a guy sleeping with them then never calling. However, at your age you are now in your sexual peak and it really just may be desire for just sex so its up to you to figure this out. Good luck.
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