A
male
age
41-50,
*ALDY
writes:I have written in before but my question has now changed. My wife had a tough child hood, her parents were not around, she had to take care of her brothers and sisters and then at 16 she had kids. I have been with her for 6 years, we have been married for 2. I am a guy who wants to do everything for his wife. I want to be her best friend, her lover, her roommate, everything. She has been so independent so long. The last 6 months have been really bad. She says I have to give her more space, to spend more time doing what I like instead of doing what I think I am suppose to do as a husband and father, It is hard for me to give her her space when I feel like I am neglecting my duties as a husband and father. She says give her time and space and let her enjoy her time and I need to enjoy my time. I am afraid to do this, how long do I need to wait for her, to see if she gets the old spark back ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BALDY +, writes (11 March 2009):
BALDY is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Miss Potter for your help and thoughts in this matter !!
A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (22 January 2009):
 Has she always been like this? Maybe its not that the spark is gone, maybe this is her true personality and she really does mean that she needs more space to herself. I would respect her wishes in that sense, everyone needs to be alone for a little bit, some time for reflection in privacy. Inevitably you will develop your hobbies that your wife does not share and she will have hobbies that you are not keen on. This is fine as long as you stay connected. Having a life of your own to some extent allows you to stay up to date with whats going on outside your house, gives you more topics to talk about. You could have some house rules like - satturday is a family day and sunday is a day when everyone does what they like, you can go play golf, kids will hang out with friends and your wife will do something that she likes and on satturday you can have a barbeque where everyone does something. its just an idea.
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