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female
,
anonymous
writes: We are only platonic friends but I want more out of the relationship. For several months now, I would say that there is only a handful of days that I had not hung out with him. All of our mutual friends want us to date (I want to date him and I have been totally up front and honest to him) but he keeps telling me he's not ready. But at the same time, he's not running away, nor has he taken any steps back because of what I have told him either. I know that his past relationship took a spill on him emotionally, but over 9 months to heal seems like plenty of time to me. He tells me that he thinks about us, he says that he is indeed attracted to me and even more seriously he's said that he thinks of us with marriage and children. But again, we are only platonic friends.I am not the type to ever get depressed, but this is paying a huge toll on me, should I wait just a little longer and see what happens or do I just try to come to terms and convince myself that it just wasn't meant to be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2005): This boy is giving you mixed messages because he obviously doesn't know what he wants, and until he does, you should give the space he needs to sort it out. I know this sounds harsh, but the best medecine for this problem is to simply stay away. Spending more time around him, especially when he beams out heart-wrenching messages of marriage and children (how old are you guys, even?) is a recipe for you to get your lovesick hopes way, way up for a guy who may not even be ready to date, and may not even date YOU later. When he says he isn't ready yet, you can't put an expiry date on it - it'll take him as long as he needs. In the meantime, don't put your life on hold waiting for him, and get out with some other friends. Every minute spent without him is a good minute. Get in touch again when he's got his act together.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (18 December 2005):
 You obviously arent happy here. 9 months indeed seems like a pretty long time for him to move on.Why not talk to him again let him know u really sad with the way things are between u too and that u really do love him and want more to the relationship.
Not sure what the problem really is here he has admitted he is attracted to you and sees you as his future wife and spends or his time with u. Ask him questions which might help u understand e.g is he against pre-marital sex?is he not ready to commit?does he still have feelings for his ex and is just not ready to move on or is the problem with u?. or does he still needs time to heal? Ask him to be open and sincere with u.Hear what he has to say and make your decision based on this.
Good luck dear and all the best.
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