A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi thereI have a new boyfriend we have been together for a month now. I dont know if I have fallen in love way too soon, but this time things feel so real and good. Yesterday we were celebrating our first month together. He has been away for more than a week, for a business meeting. This guy likes to re assure me when i get insecure about his busy schedule and his regular travel. At first I didnt believe him when he said he said he was not seeing anyone. As time goes now I feel a bit secure even though not entirely, no reason for me to feel insecure, but im just scared that he will not love me as i do.....How long does it take for a guy to completely fall in love with a woman. This guy keeps assuring me that he loves me, all the time, but can he be able to feel that way, this early.I come from wanting to delay sex with him, but that just doesnt work. I always told myself that I will sleep with him once the relationship is fully developed. I just get very weak not to allow him and we have had it several times. It feels so great.... another point is that im not fully 100% fallen, but i know i really like him.... CAN ANYONE RELATE AND ADVISE.....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): I try to explane you what I learnt about falling in love and real love. Falling in love just happens to you. You can't really controll it yourselfe. It is like beeing on drugs. The hormones in your body tell you what to do and are reigning your feelings. You can compare it with beeing drunk. The alcohol in your body makes you happy and you can forget your problems.
Real love is different. It is the decision to want the best for someone and to make this person happy. The feelings are different to the feelings of falling in love, and you don't allways feel anything. But the cheerful feelings will come back again. This is not the case with falling in love. This feelings you will only have a few month ore years, but they will not come back in the same form. To really love someone will take years!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): It takes some time to really get to know another person and to discover whether the two of you are well-matched. A month is not long enough.......two or three months will give you a better idea.
I notice you seem to need reassurance from him that he isn't seeing anyone else and he responds by telling you all the time that he loves you. I strongly recommend that you let go of asking him to reassure you! A time comes when, if all is going well, you have to take it on faith that he does care about you (and vice versa). Otherwise, constantly seeking it will grow "old" and he could come to feel that if he keeps telling you, and you keep asking, that what he's saying is not getting through. That's the danger, so stop before it gets to such a pass!
I do hope you have a full, enjoyable and active life of your own, with work, activities and friends/family when he's not around? That's important.
Finally, I posted an article yesterday which I described as "Thoughts on dating - who is your type?" Perhaps you might want to find it in yesterday's posts......its from a well-known dating website......good luck.
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