A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Bit of advice needed please, I recently got together with a new guy after spending about 6 months pining over my ex-boyfriend, we are all from the same town, the new guy is really sweet and hot and I'm really into him. But I'm just wondering how long do you think we should wait before sleeping together, we've kissed on two separate nights and are texting during the week and usually meet at the weekend when we are both out, but we dont really arrange to meet during the week or anything, I definitely want this to go further I could see us becoming a couple but what should my next move be?? We were flirting for ages before we got together, its pretty heated when we are together but I don't want him to think I'm easy, although its pretty obvious that neither of us are virgins, we're both 21, any advice would be welcome!! guys advice especially.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2007): I think "Uncle/ Dr. Phil" is a decent person with good ideas but if a guy used that breakfast line on me, I'd be thinking that I'd need to get out of there. Permanently. It just doesn't fly. (Sorry!)
When cuddling, kissing, fooling aroung...when things get hot & heavy, you could look at him and tell him that you are REALLY thinking about taking things to the next level....you could say something to the effect that you feel it is kinda soon.....but you just can't help the way you feel about him. What guy wouldn't like to hear that? It's true. You desire him so much that you can't really think about waiting. You don't want to stop. I think it should be flattering for him to hear.
If you're not a virgin - but also not sleeping around with any hunk of meat that walks by - if he is a decent guy with half a clue, he should get that! Don't worry, sweetie! Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay thanks everybody, I will let you know how it goes!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): I like Phil's last answer. My answer is whenever you want to. It's not like you just met him and are taking him home. You have known each other for 6 months, in a semi-relationship sort of way. If you feel like waiting only 10 minutes, then that is fine. He may have the same feelings that you do. If I were him, I would ask you something like, "Would you be offended if I told you that I would like to sleep with you?" I would be a bit nervous asking that, but I would not try to hide it. It would make you sound like a "good girl" instead of a "slut". I think that you could approach it the same way. I also like Phil's cook breakfast idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): My answer was a bit 'tongue in cheek'. However, neither of you are virgins, you want it to go further, and I'd say he does too if things get heated when you're together, and you've been flirting for ages.
You could try asking him a 'hypothetical' question like "How long do you think a man and woman who really like each other should hang out before they sleep together?" He might say 10 minutes or 10 weeks, only he knows. You could then act on his answer.
Under the circumstances I think a more direct approach might be more favourable if you could pluck up the courage, such as "I'd love to cook your breakfast - your place or mine?".
Due to the length of time you've known each other, I don't think he would class you as a slut or an easy lay or whatever way you want to describe it.
Do please let me know how it all pans out!
Phil
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSeriosly uncle phil you think that?? Would he not think I was a bit of a slut?? Its just hard to know
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A
female
reader, schauv80  +, writes (15 November 2007):
I don't think there is a specific "time" that you need to wait for. It depends on your feelings for each other.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): I think you should wait at least 10 minutes after your next meeting.
Phil
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